5.24.2007

everything for a reason

when i was deciding to go to college, i had a choice to make. i could continue to be with the same people i'd been with for the last 13 (k-12) years of my life, or step out on my own. i applied to carolina because i'd been to project uplift, drank a bit of the kool-aid and said maybe. but i continued my senior year in advanced placement and academically gifted classes surrounded by ignorance (stupid black people questions) and said i can't do this. i'd also applied to hampton because my mom went there. i was heavy into hbcus in my search but i knew i didn't want to go to n.c. a&t or n.c. central because those schools are notorious for accepting anyone AND i knew i had to get out of north carolina. spelman wasn't an option because i CANNOT go to a school where there are no men in the classes. i just need eye candy. across the street isn't good enough.

once i got to hampton i had to go through DRAMA to get to my final dorm, Virginia Cleveland Hall. VVVVVVVVVVVVV-C! CUUUUUUUUUTIES! LOL. that was for my hampton heads. but once i was there i made some fantastic friends who were there for the long run. one of them is wynel. by the time we got to senior year, we were still cool, still had fun and invited each other to parties etc., but we weren't as close as freshman year.

in the three years since graduation (WHAT?!! WHEN DID I GET SO OLD?!! i should stop... my mom just celebrated her 30th HU reunion. 2nd generation hamptonians stand up!), wynel has become one of the people who best understands me and my struggles. bloggers, you have helped immensely. that's why i shared this with you, as hard as it may have been. it was a coping mechanism (and because rev. run says you should). wynel took it to a whole new level tonight. i don't know how much its going to cost me for that 3 hour conversation when i had no minutes, but it will be worth every cent. i have a new outlook and i am ready to take over the world. WATCH OUT. i'm still a work in progress. for some reason, nights are easier for me, but any progress at all is cause for celebration.

11 comments:

shani-o said...

Yes!

(And can we talk about how Rev. Run is the TRUTH?)

CNEL said...

Okay not even 5 minutes before reading this as I prepare for bed, I think to myself one of my fav sayings I stole from somebody, "I am a great work, in progress." I am a work of art, I am a good deed, I am that great story I have yet to write. "I am a great work, in progress."

I often think what if I had gone to a HBCU would I be even morein tune with who I am to become as a manchild endeavoring to be a good black man.

Then I think where I stand is where it was meant for me to be, the experiences I have had will carry me through.

Up with wise friends, I've been meditating on who should be in my circle after an older colleague said to me, "I find that in the end its your friends who sustain you."

Bklyn Diva said...

*high five*

dat 3 hour conversation.. WHEW.. dat was definitely something you must have needed..

Now give ya big sis some dap and eat some food for me this weekend.. and slide a piece of birthday cake in too JUST FOR ME!

Vdizzle said...

One step at time J...and good friends always help.

Yaaay!!

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

Ow! I love that you're showing all sides of Jameil, vulnerable/hurt on up to 'I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR!'

Lola Gets said...

Im sorry to hear about your breakup. I wish I could think of some sage advice, but I cant, lol. You just gotta take it minute by minute, one step at a time. Thats how the race is won.
L

amber said...

movin up and on ... thats the only way to go ... the only way ... and maybe some new shoes along the way too !!!

DP said...

nods affirmatively...

Epsilonicus said...

smiles...

I feel you on that eye candy thing. I have to have my females right next to me. I could not do a single sex college.

Sha Boogie said...

You ain't never lied - everything happens for a reason! We may not like it, we may not understand it, but if God brought you too it, he will bring you through it. That is my favorite mantra, well besides ' man's rejection is God's protection'

Ladynay said...

Heck Yeah! That's the spirit! Sorry it took me so long to get caught up. Work is trippin' along with my laptop! You are fabulous, simply fabulous!