In the last two weeks, I must have been wearing eau de 'how you doin' as I conquered the city. All kinds of riff raff saw fit to approach me. I think these things happen mostly to give me something to blog about.
A. Man Reeking of Alcohol at 3 in the Afternoon: (Looks me up and down) Unh! How you doin?
Me: Fine. (To clerk) Pump 2, please.
MRoAa3itA: I'll get it if you let me take you to dinner tonight.
Me: Nah. My husband won't like that.
MRoAa3itA: Aw man. All the good ones are taken.
Me: Yeah I guess so.
MRoAa3itA: Nah! I don't believe that!
Me: (Silence.)
B. Me: (Minding my own business sitting in my car waiting at the light with the window down enjoying the nice weather.)
Dude: (LAYING ON HORN) AAAAAAAAAAAY!
Me: (Horrid face.)
C. Toothless Elderly Man: (Looking pleased in my direction) Hey sweetheart!
Me: (Warily) Hi.
TEM: I think I love you.
Me: (Panicking letting my words come before I think them) No thank you.
TEM: No thank you?
Me: (As we pass each other) You can't love me! You don't even know me!
TEM: Says yo mouth!
Me: (Raucous laughter)
Why does a man 30 years older than all of you have the best approach? I know part of it is more practice but just FYI, laying on your horn and yelling out of your window and looking someone up and down making guttural noises aren't attractive means of communication. I thought we knew this already. You know what I'm gonna say, right? Do better.
15 comments:
Lol at "says yo mouf"! Hilarious. I think I would've cracked up at that too. You must have had everything in all the right places to get those type of shout outs girl.
As an Old Man Magnet, I agree....with the exception of the one that said "Hi Redbone", the old men have it going on!
Hilarious! Old men say the darndest things.
My grandfather used to advise us all: "Don't go out with a hot mouth." Let me know if you can figure out what that means. None of us ever understood it.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! All of these were funny! I thank the riffraff for hitting on you so that you can provide us with excellent entertainment!
"eau de how you doin'?"
Best. Post. Ever.
Says my mouf!
Says yo mouth...bwhahaha. The other two...just boo.
Says yo mouth - I love it!!! Old men are definitely the best harassers!
Pure comedy - thank you :)
Came back to read this and laugh again. Damn, this was funny!
How's he gonna go with "says yo mouf" LOL! I can SO see these old guys because they are raring and ready in LA. Sigh.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! "SAYS YO MOUTH" WINS!!!!!
followed closely by *(horrid face)* !!!!
BWAAHHHHAAA!! I would love to be a fly on the wall just to see your facial expression during these encounters, lol.
Old men are the funniest! I think because they're retired, they have more time to work on their mack.
Hilarious.. Thank you after someone tells you, I love you. LOLOLOL
I realized the common denominator: I had just finished working out. Now one dude definitely couldn't see anything but my face and shoulders but the rest could... *hides in house after workouts* LOL
k... lolol!
1969... HI REDBONE!!!! Sir... LOL
red... drink water before you leave the house??? Brush your teeth? LOLOL I love it!
trish... lol it's been a while but they came back w/a vengeance! vengeance is mine saith the riff raff!
grady... LOLOLOL
nsa... i can't!
ng... LOL you are welcome!
liz... LOLOLOL raring and ready! love it!
ladynay!! i just busted out laughing! hilarious!
adei... that dude wins all day!
sha... it's so priceless! lol
id... lol that must be it! they sit around trading lines w/their homies!
gs... i was so scared of whatever he was about to say!
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