In the last two weeks, I must have been wearing eau de 'how you doin' as I conquered the city. All kinds of riff raff saw fit to approach me. I think these things happen mostly to give me something to blog about.
A. Man Reeking of Alcohol at 3 in the Afternoon: (Looks me up and down) Unh! How you doin?
Me: Fine. (To clerk) Pump 2, please.
MRoAa3itA: I'll get it if you let me take you to dinner tonight.
Me: Nah. My husband won't like that.
MRoAa3itA: Aw man. All the good ones are taken.
Me: Yeah I guess so.
MRoAa3itA: Nah! I don't believe that!
B. Me: (Minding my own business sitting in my car waiting at the light with the window down enjoying the nice weather.)
Dude: (LAYING ON HORN) AAAAAAAAAAAY!
Me: (Horrid face.)
C. Toothless Elderly Man: (Looking pleased in my direction) Hey sweetheart!
Me: (Warily) Hi.
TEM: I think I love you.
Me: (Panicking letting my words come before I think them) No thank you.
TEM: No thank you?
Me: (As we pass each other) You can't love me! You don't even know me!
TEM: Says yo mouth!
Me: (Raucous laughter)
Why does a man 30 years older than all of you have the best approach? I know part of it is more practice but just FYI, laying on your horn and yelling out of your window and looking someone up and down making guttural noises aren't attractive means of communication. I thought we knew this already. You know what I'm gonna say, right? Do better.