11.19.2009

Do Me A Favor: DON'T Relate

I KNOW this is old but seriously.  Can single people stop giving relationship advice?  It'd be one thing if they gave good advice, but horrible, HORRIBLE relationship advice!  Stop doing this!  If you're not happily married, and really sometimes even if you are, stop giving people your advice!  Your hot mess of advice!!  Solicited or not.  If you don't know, keep your mouth shut.

No one's given advice to me but I've been reading blogs and facebook statuses and responses... and TheConversation.... sorry Hill.  You're cute but you're 43 & single & trying to figure it out.  Good for you but I can't take you seriously.  Am I supposed to be having a conversation based on your mistakes?  I know plenty of people blundering their way through love without adding yours to the mix.  Yes, I know there are stories from people in successful relationships.  Yes, I know I'm only on chapter 2 but already I can't stop rolling my eyes and sighing.  I'm going to finish the book since my online/HU/DC HUers book club is all reading it but somebody better pick a better book if/when there's a next time. 

Even outside the book... like say on a blog... sometimes it's just you talking about relationships like you lived it sooo much and sooo well & you're 27... just like me.  Womp womp.  It's altogether possible you've had more relationships than me.  *shrug*  And?  I guess you have to talk about your experiences but sometimes you just sound stupid.  And like you'll be one of those people who lives off of the people going nuts over your writing, look up at 43 and ask as you write TheNextConversation, how did I end up 43 and singlenevermarriedwithnokids?  You SAY you want to get married, but what are you doing to make that happen?  Preparing yourself for that responsibility some way you're NOT sharing with us?  You don't even seem to take relationships seriously.

Rashan has said many times how easy black male bloggers have it.  If you're a black male blogger, you say 5 words and women fawn all over you like it's the gospel and send you n.aked pics and talk about the connection between the two of you (who have never exchanged so much as an email) because you're just. so. deep.  He got none of those from me for the record.  I don't play that.  Lol.  Why am I gonna sit here and big up you when you aren't saying anything anyone else hasn't said?  Or even if you are, can we have mutual appreciation instead of me blowing your head out of proportion?  People are such sheep.  Lol.  That sounds just as bad and elitist as those people who don't watch tv but whatever.  My point is, if black male bloggers have it this easy, imagine how easy an attractive black male non-fiction NON-HISTORICAL writer has it...  You know KNOW women are like, "He's so open! So sensitive!"  He almost got me!  (Sorry Rashan)  It's like a forehead kiss.  "It's endearing... it's damn near e.rotic!"  Hill lost that with an anecdote before the end of the first chapter.  I won't be led to the slaughter!

And don't even get me started on these "rhetorical" facebook statuses about your prince being out there or whatever you say to get attention.  And so someone will tell you how beautiful you are and what a catch you are.  Womp womp.  Cry me a river.  Some things you should keep to yourself.  Or at least off of the internet.  (Says the girl who is dating a blogger & talks about him all the time...)

7 comments:

Rashan Jamal said...

I generally hate advice, but relationship advice is even worse. Firstly, you're not an expert on your own relationship, and secondly, people are just different. There aren't any rules that apply to everybody.

On a semi related note, one of my co workers said that the Steve Harvey relationship book reminded her of stuff that I would say. Bear in mind, I never give relationship advice and if I did, I wouldn't be like Steve Harvey.

Adei von K said...

Get, 'em!

You know I didn't get the book when I read what it was about. I don't wanna hear that ish!!!!! From ANYONE!! Plus I don't have a black man to build a relationship with!! LOL

The one relationship book I read was 5 Love Languages. I liked it but wouldn't have a book club over it.

"It's damn near erotic! Shoot, he almost got me with it!!" Yes, Jordan! (nia)

Yeah, Hill can't tell me nothing. Like Rashan said, there aren't rules that apply to everybody. All you're doing is tell me abt you and why should that matter to me and mine?

Anitra* said...

Damn well I guess you don't like the book - LOL! But Stacey there is a chapter about dating outside of your race if you care to read it but I don't think you are going to.

Anywho - this will make for a great discussion. I'm finishing up The Shack and then I'm going full force into The Conversation. Is it really THAT bad?

I love me some Hill but he is a just another man. Steve Harvey talked some BS in his book about giving up the Nookie and about how men will go and find it else where. LET THEM!

But just so you know - I'm single and I think I give GREAT advice - LOL!

Ladynay said...

Can't stand relationship advice! Even if you been married forever, been through just about anything you could have been through, that STILL don't mean what worked for you will work for me!

I heard Michael Baisden pushing the Conversation and I didn't bother looking into it.

CNEL said...

I don't think ppl need advice as much as sometimes they just someone to process things with. Sometimes you can't experience and process on your own.

But the absolute worst ppl to take advice from are ppl who think they're great at it. I mean if you should be taking someone's council you'll know it.

And I think ppl need to be open to relationships but not putting how pressed they are on public display, cause I've learned that just ain't attractive.

Therapeutic Musings said...

I've been wondering if maybe I had missed Hill Harper's story about how he has been happily married for 20 years.

I've been married for a year, I think I need to go crank out a book. I'll send you a pre-release of my book, I should have it done by next week.

Jameil said...

rashan... right?! keep it to yourself! lol @ stuff you would say. you have totally given relationship advice before! and you like it! i just know it!

adei... lol. i think it's ok your boo is white. i haven't read love langs yet but i hear great things about it. hill is silly for this book.

anitra... lol. it definitely always helps when there are people who absolutely don't like a book. i just don't feel like it's breaking new ground. what are you saying that i haven't already heard? i want to hear SOME of that early in the book. def. just another man. i think i will be ok never reading steve harvey's book. he LOOKS like he says foolishness.

the problem w/great advice is NO ONE thinks they give bad advice. i'm not saying you do but everyone thinks there's is great. even when she's obviously hating b/c baby daddy no. 3 has left in the pattern of all the other horrible choices in men she's made. she calls it tough love when she should call it "keeping my mouth shut."

lady... lol! right?! and the old folk should be the main ones who know that! michael baisden makes me WEARY!! and it drives me crazy that people hear he's hiring and try to get me to go work there. no. thank you. he irritates me w/his topics.

cnel... processing is fine but some people don't know how to sit there and listen w/o giving advice! lol @ the absolute worst ppl to take advice from are ppl who think they're great at it. right!? i seriously try to limit advice-giving. even when people ask me what they should do i feel uncomfortable sometimes. unless i'm really close to that person and/or know all the details, ick.

pressed is SO not cute. but when you're in your late 20s talking about when you're dating you don't think about where this might go, you look stupid. that's how people who want marriage & kids end up confused at 35 that they're still thinking. they weren't relationship planning like they were career planning. that's fine if you want that for yourself but if not, you might want to think ahead just a little. i sound like i'm giving advice.... lolol.

tm... LOLOL!! Your whole comment had me rollin! I'll be looking for that pre-release ASAP! Get it in the mail, girl!