"Thank You God for This Stupid Food!"

Remember that line from Ashley's prayer on the FreshPrince? Will had just moved there and was teaching her all this slang she'd never used, and how to rap. So she busted out in a rap prayer to her parents' dismay. (No, I couldn't find it on youtube.) I would like to use this line, reminding the uninitiated that stupid meant dope, hot, fantastic, wonderful or amazing back in the day. Last night, I had a religious food experience at Kaya in the Strip District. I want to thank God for giving me another place to take visitors and for another getaway in Pittsburgh. I have yet another place I can go to just disappear and forget I'm in this city.

First we'll start with what my dad. He started with an A.yinger beer. The bartender said it had 9.2% IPA! That's an outrageous IPA. Most beers are around 5.5 to 6. 7 is on the high side and may or may not make the beer unpalatable, particularly for those unfamiliar with beer, but this one was good. My dad said beyond the sampler it was a bit bitter. They had several delightful beers on tap that I'd never had. PLUS I love anywhere that has Stella on tap! Fab!! I did want to give their special beers a try, several of which are not anywhere else in Pittsburgh, but tonight I was about the drinks! I started with Brazil's national cocktail, the caipirinha! MMMM!! It was sooo good. Why doesn't the U.S. have a national cocktail!?! After that I had a mango mojito made with mango puree. Loved it. Kara suggested A.kineyle for a Krispy Kreme song when I last spoke of the fat tour so I shall use it here to describe my drink. "You can lick it, you can sip it, you can taste it! I'm talking every dri.p drop don't you waste it!" Yes I knew all the hood and/or inappropriate songs in college. Are you happy Kara? Lol. Crazy man.

On to the food. They change their menu daily. I don't know how much they vary, but, though small, the menu did not feel limited. With the few choices available, I still had difficulty deciding what to get. My dad had a Cuban sandwich: pork, turkey, ham, Swiss cheese, whole grain mustard, chipotle aioli, and sweet fries. Yes, I kept with my Lenten challenge and did not eat even one fry! That was part of the reason I didn't get that sandwich. I want to get whatever experience the chef wants me to have, no subsititutes, so I left that one for another trip. Aren't you proud? Me too!

Now my food. Oh my food. My delightful, delightful food. I had the Kaya angus burger: tomato, pickles, Manchego cheese, bacon, local sunny side up egg, secret Kaya sauce, Kaya chips. Let's stop and do a praise dance for that! And celebrate FoodNetwork with IronChefAmerica and RachaelRay, and we cannot forget TopChef!! Without these shows, I may never have had the chutzpah to try a burger with an egg on it, despite my unabiding love for eggs. The sauce was orangey-pink, sweet but tangy. Very nice. I'm getting RAVENOUS just thinking about this burger! Pardon me while I go eat my hand. Tastes like chicken.

Aaaand... we're back. Yes, I did check to make sure the chips weren't some sly way (you know how the British do) of saying fries. It's not. They're potato chips made from plantains and yuca. Again. So excited that my foodieness requires me to know what all this means!!! My mom asked if this was cheating. How are potato chips cheating? I didn't give up all potato products, just fries. Trust me. As a fry queen, its not the same. Moving back to the center of my delight. This burger was so good I was just silent. Jameil. Silent. Wow. Let's take a moment for that as well! A.MA.ZING. But only for a moment and I did dance. You know how I do. Wiggle and hum when the eating is good. Close my eyes. I said to my dad, "Now I can die happy!" He didn't like that. I guess parents take you literally and get all alarmed. It's an expression. I have no desire or plans to die but if I had to, that's an amazing last meal!!

I've finally used my new reason to become anti! Now you can *REJOICE!* and hear my voice. After I first posted, I thought, is this too much? Maybe I'm becoming "Jameil... THE BRAND!"? Did you do that like "Just Jack!" on Wil.l&Grace? Because you should have. Lol. My dad just asked me what I do when people are out of order commenting on my blog. I said, "I just say, 'You are off topic.'" And he started cracking up. "This blog is concerning the hair growth of mice, it has nothing to do with railroad tracks. Please stay on the subject," he says. He's so funny.