Life Update

Wednesday night the computer broke. I came downstairs Thursday and was damn near inconsolable! How am I to live!! I said to my dad, I have no link to the outside world!!! He thought I meant Kyle. Uh... no!! Clearly I have the phone to talk to him. I NEED MY COMPUTER FOR MY BLOGGERS!! I miss you guys. I can check it (and blog) obviously but it's not nearly as easy. He needs to get that fixed yesterday. It's his computer. Hurry. And now. That's what I need him to do. He took it to the shop FINALLY!! I may survive.


COMING TOMORROW!! Can't wait. We shall do nothing. It will be fun.

He hasn't seen me (15 minutes doesn't count for this part) for 2 months so I need him to tell me whether he can tell I've been working out. No one else has said anything. I need some encouragement!!!

I'm about to become a PA resident. Shoot me now. Please. Lol. J/k. I shall survive... I suppose. That's all for now kiddos. Hope to be back online at home within the week. Kisses.


I'm Mellllllllllting!! Meellllllllltiiiiingggg!!

Man that was the coolest part of the Wizard of Oz. That and the fact that she got to wear those hot ruby slippers. I also wanted to be Glenda the Good Witch when I grew up.

"Ding dong the witch is dead! Mean old witch! The wicked old witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is deaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!"


Why am I so overjoyed? Because on Saturday as I was producing my show, I happened to pay attention during weather. Know what happened? Wednesday was on the 5-day forecast. Guess what it said? 41. Guess what? It was 41 when I got to work at 1 am. Know how that felt? Like a summer breeze.

If you live in the south right now, close your ears (I used to crack up when my mom used to tell us that. I was like, "Mom. You can't close your ears." Then she'd say, "Well turn them off." HUH-larious). I don't want to hear any of you talk about how cold it has been there and it's warming up. I also do not want you saying 41 is not warm. (Yes, Cnel, I am once again telling people how to talk. My mom hates when I do this. Kyle is not a fan of it either. Five words. Naa, naa, na, boo, boo. MY blog. I am crackin myself up today!!!).

It's amazing how your body reconstitutes it self and adjusts to just about anything. After literally weeks of sub-zero and single digit wind chills, 40 feels downright balmy. I now understand why people in Pittsburgh start stripping when it hits 45. Your body is so used to highs in the 20s that when the lows are in the 20s or higher, you lose your mind. I would die if I were to move back home right now. Texas? WOW! I would need to move in October to try to slide in. Pittsburgh is also notoriously dark and gloomy. Often cloudy which as you know makes you SAD.

Ice is melting all over creation. It is getting rid of all the messy nastiness when it melts as water, but when big chunks of ice fall... multiple people at work have had thousands, yes THOUSANDS of dollars of damage from ice falling on their cars, including through their windshields. Nobody hurt but yeah... that is not cute. Imagine that falling on your head! Yikes!

IT'S MARDI GRAS!!!!! LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ!!! (Let the good times roll!) Man I wish I was in the NO right now. I would be gettin it. Giant hurricane in hand. Strolling to the daiquiri bar. Sigh. I love drinking holidays. This one, cinco de mayo and St. Patrick's Day. So jolly.

Anyone else notice that BET plays the MOST hood songs ever on 106 & Park and Rap City? Crime Mob's "Rock Yo Hips," Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It." Rap City I'm used to but WOW! I don't even need to go home. I can stay up to date on the music of my homeland by watching BET. I've been forcing myself to watch even though the music is getting closer and closer to nails on a chalkboard to me. Sigh. So sad! And is it just me or are all the girls in these videos girls from their neighborhoods. "Keisha! Ay! Whatchu doin later taday? Yo, I'm makin a video. You wanna be in it?"

I have to get used to it again, though because that's all they play in the clubs at home and when I'm at home, I AM GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT IF I CAN HELP IT!!! Can't wait. March 21st homies. I'M GOING HOME!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!! I'm gonna have a blast even if all I do is hang with my crew(s).


The Day from HELL

It started when I walked out the door to the freezing rain. You know the kind. It sounds like rain, then you walk outside and almost bust your head open on the concrete? Yeah that happened to me. Three times in the 20 steps from the front door to my car. Then I got to the car and there was a layer of ice on top of the inch or two of snow that had fallen since I'd come home from work earlier in the day. Got to the car, had to yank open my door because it was iced shut. Curses!!!

I spend the next 15 minutes scraping the ice and snow off of my car. New laws here give hefty fines if snow or ice from your car flies off causing an accident. Then I see the pile of snow behind my car from the snow plows coming through last night pushing it all to MY SIDE... and it also has a layer of ice on it. I try to drive over it anyway. I get stuck but I'm able to pull forward and almost slide into my dad's car. I pull back up into the space and call my job. "I can't get out of my driveway and its freezing rain." I already have the shovel out trying to scrape something out. I'm on the verge of tears because I'm frustrated and I'm scared I'm going to kill myself trying to get to work.

My news director tells me to wait a few minutes and try again. So I go back in the house and sit down for a few minutes but I can't relax because I'm like I've gotta go. (It's the news disease. The news has to get on the air regardless. We don't get snow days. We're just as bad as mail men and we don't get Sunday off either). Then I see we're going on early at 4:30 so I get in the car and leave. The road near my house was pretty bad. The main roads were ok though. I get to work in 45 minutes instead of my usual 30 and they were just glad I was there.

The morning shows were a combined 4 1/2 hours of news instead of 3 to get all the snow coverage in with lots of running around. It was how you picture a news station rushing to get you everything you need to know RIGHT NOW. Very dramatic.

I'm supposed to get off at 10 but we have more extended coverage so I stay to help. In between this, I'm getting updates from Kyle. His 630am flight was cancelled because the airport was closed. They thought they would be able to get it open by 830 and he would now be connecting in Minneapolis instead of Detroit and his flight would get here at 430p instead of 1130a. About 1045a, I another call telling me he is STILL IN HARTFORD!!!!!!!! and his flight will get there around 7pm. #$%^&*()_!$%^&*(?!%&*

I'm like that's ridiculous. We'll have a day together instead of a full 48 hours!!!!! And we haven't seen each other in more than a month and that was for 15 minutes. So I ask him to see if he can get a different flight for next week since he has the same off days. It was just about seeing each other, not about Valentine's Day.

He checks with the folk. They say no dice because he'll have to travel on days when he's not available and has to come by next Wednesday. WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!


I cut a line in my car to loosen the ice so I can start it up. Then I trudge home in the snow to take a nap until he gets here and I get an update. He calls me... I say do you have an update? He says yes, but it's not good. What? They're closing the airport. I'm not coming. I'll try to come in two weeks.

I'm too exhausted to cry. I'm disappointed and sleepy. AND I HAVE CRAMPS. He's sleepy, its cold, he's driving in bad weather. We talk later in the day and I feel better. But overall? Not a fun day. When you comment, do not say awww. Or its ok. Or feel better. To keep up with Madam, I do not want to hear that. Encouraging words are not going to be appreciated right now.

AI started a list of things she likes EVERYday, not just on the unnecessarily maligned V-Day. So here are some of mine.

1. Telling me you love me. I could hear this all day long.
2. Getting a lot of comments. It really makes me jolly.
3. Wearing red, pink and other bright colors.
4. Looking fly. This is why I'm hot.
5. Going out to eat. Speaking of which, did you know baked potatoes are the greatest source of food bourne illness at restaurants? It's because its almost impossible to keep them at the internal temperature they're supposed to maintain once they've been cooked. So skip the baked potato. Learn something new everyday, right?
6. Getting cards. There is something joyous about seeing a colorful extended rectangle with your name on it.

Today on the Record Dish: Luda shouts out Oprah at the Grammy's. You know how I feel about Oprah. This is a must read.


Monday Randomness

went last week 3xs for the first time in about 2 weeks. I'd skipped my Thursday dance class the last two weeks (first week went to dinner w/D, last week we went to the Penguins game. It was my first hockey game and it wasn't that bad. Much better in person. On tv you can't see the puck. At least I can't.) I'd gone 2xs a week. Booooo. Didn't go today because I've been itching to blog and my father wore me plum out yesterday. I ran some errands after work, then when I got home he wanted to go to breakfast. You know how I feel about food (y'all are not visiting the record dish anymore. stop slackin on your pimpin)... and breakfast... So I did, then came home, read for a few minutes and passed out.

I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!!! I am on the worst non-sleep schedule known to man. You know I have a crazy schedule. I work overnights which means I get off at 10am every day. I had my schedule down at one point. Going to CT would throw me off for a while, then I'd get back on it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I go to sleep for 5 hours, then wake up and can't get back to sleep so I wake up and read but I'll have been up for too long when I go to work if I stay up so I try to get sleepy and don't until I have an hour to nap but then I fall asleep for 30 minutes and wake up ridiculously sleepy. STOP IT!!!

I saw the tail end of the Presidential announcement coverage and was terribly excited. I was on the elliptical (showing off, moving like a madwoman) cheesin up a storm (also like a madwoman). I tried to make myself stop but I just felt so proud! I told a girl at work I was so excited I wanted to donate. She said, "He doesn't need your money." Alright. This will be rude.

You are white. You can afford to be politically inactive. I cannot. Since its Black History Month, let me take a moment to educate you. Historically, people of African descent, those who were slaves and whose ancestors were slaves were not allowed to vote. Many people fought, cried and died so I would have the right to voice my opinion, donate to the candidate of my choice, campaign on his or her behalf, then on election day, show up and vote. Medgar Evers was shot in the front yard of his Jackson, MS home, just a few miles from my grandmother's home while his wife and children were inside. His crime? Registering Black people to vote.

I really believe none of us can afford not to vote. Choose the lesser of two evils. Make your voice heard. Otherwise, don't sit around and complain about the lack of services, rising taxes, no national health care plan, the rising cost of insurance, poor roads, etc. etc. because you did not help elect the people who make those decisions. That being said, Black people have an even greater need to vote because for so long we were denied that right. *steps down from soapbox, but likely just temporarily*

The point is, I like Obama even if he doesn't win. I think a Hilary/Obama duo would be a sure loss for him because Hilary is so polarizing. People don't like or dislike her. They love or hate her. That's it. Well, except me. I really don't care. But to win this election, the Democratic candidate will need to have crossover appeal. Republicans hate Hilary with an unbridled passion. During the Obama coverage, several Fox News analyst did everything but call her the anti-Christ. There was a lone Dem (as usual) on there to say, "No she's not," then they carried on with the tv exorcism of her soul.

Sometimes I'm a man:
I really hate picking out cards for Kyle. I love getting them. The really mushy, mashed potato ones. And they make me get all choked up which is very unusual for me. I hate picking out cards for him because I feel so pressured. Like I have to get this fabulous card and none of them have the right words. I looked for 10 minutes, but it felt like my whole life. I finally just picked one up and bought it. I also cannot express how much I love this man. I can't do it. Joy and La have done these great posts that would print out to be 4 page letters and I can barely fill a card. His love overwhelms me. I just can't describe how he makes me feel. English is inadequate.

Valentine's Day:
Lawd have mercy I don't care!! Folk are always ready to slit their wrists over a damn day! I care a lot more about my birthday. Maybe I'll do the history of my Valentine's day tomorrow or something. Right now I just want to tell everyone to quit trippin over it! Know what I want this year? NOTHING!! I just want to see my man! And that has nothing to do with the day. We live 500 miles apart. If I could see him every single day I would. I'm lyin. But if I could see him more than once a month (baby steps, lol) I would be overjoyed. He'll be here Wednesday and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

But Snow:
is trying to steal my joy!! It's supposed to snow 4-8" over the next day, the most at one time in the last 2 years (meaning since before I moved here). It was looking like the snow could impact his trip, but now, it likely will not.

I can't hold this in anymore. I'm convinced some people love to be unhappy. I cannot make you happy. I can't tell you how to be happy. That's something you have to find within yourself. I try to be sympathetic. I really do. But when people won't listen to reason, I get frustrated. I work in news. I see death all day. I could tell you some really horrific stories I've helped cover.

A pregnant woman is kidnapped by her neighbor and beaten for several days. Then the neighbor carries her to the woods where she tries to cut her unborn child from her stomach. The woman and her child manage to survive because a teenager just happens to see them in the woods and calls the police.

A 23-month-old girl won't go to bed. Her father reportedly beat her, then carried her 400 yards away to an abandoned playground where he leaves her. The temperatures are in the single digits. The wind chill is below zero. Her footprints in the snow show she got up and toddled around before dying of hypothermia.

A father is taking his triplets to the hospital because one of them gets treatments for a potentially debilitating disease. The truck driver in front of him hadn't properly attached his trailer and reportedly told police he had been drinking and was on oxycotin. The trailer came loose, slamming into the family's van, killing the father and two of the triplets.

Teenagers die all the time in accidents which aren't necessarily their fault. Recently a man reportedly told police he was smoking crack and marijuana all day before he got behind the wheel of a van. He plowed into three parked cars, two pedestrians and an apartment building before coming to a stop. A 17-year-old girl died. The man she was walking with had to have a leg amputated.

I could go on and on and on. Forgive me if I'm less than understanding when all you want to do is tell me how much your life sucks. Every once in a while, just for kicks, celebrate the fact that you still have one.


Pretty Ricky Ricky Ricky Rickay

i hate you. with a fiery burning passion from the depths of my soul. you are disgusting. no one wants to hear a 15 yo talk about sex. you repeat your name like teenagers with terets. you wear band uniforms. i saw part of your cribs and y'all share rooms. WACK. you are everywhere. you are not at all pretty. you are a group but go by a name that sounds like one person. AND the fact that you've gone on the radio in multiple cities (Charlotte was one of them) and said, "We all bruvahs, know what I'm sayin, we come from the same skeet skeet."

dirty brats.

i need to bathe.

*I normally don't repost the inanity I share on my myspace blog, but today is your lucky day. I re-read it and cackled so hard I had to.


I Got 5 On It

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

1) I love organization. Purging? I'm all about it! Love it! As long as its someone else's stuff. I'll clean out your closet for you. That's why I love "Clean House" w/my girl Niecy Nash and I used to love the one on TLC "Clean Sweep" but they got rid of the black organizer so I had to push it to the left.

2) I think in song lyrics/titles and movie lines. I would think in more movie lines but I haven't really seen that many movies. Songs? My sister and I sing all day. My godsister went with us to our family reunion in Mississippi one year and was like, "Y'all sing EEEEVVVVERYTHING!!" Yes, we know. Hahahahahahaha. That's the best thing about having a sibling close to your age (she's only 19 months younger). Everything is a giant inside joke.

3) I never had a frozen dinner until I was a sophomore in college. My mom didn't believe in them. She cooked or would bring us Chinese food, but for the most part she cooked. When my parents were married, my dad cooked, too. So no frozen dinners for us. Not even a lot of fast food. That may be why I'm so obsessed with fast food now.

4) I was on the Burger King diet my senior year in high school. Not intentionally. I would save the lunch money my mom would give us to buy a whopper a day. There may be a heroin-like quality to whoppers because I LOVED those flame-broiled burgers. I eat mine with cheese, mustard, ketchup, mayo, lettuce and now tomato. Back then no tomato, no onion. I only eat lettuce from BK and McD's b/c its chopped and almost never wilted and nasty unlike Wendy's which can't seem to find a single unwilted leaf of lettuce in its entire company. My mother used to make me get "vegetables" on my burgers but I hate tomato and onion so I would just give them and the lettuce to her when she did allow us to eat fast food.

5) I wouldn't mind being a stay at home mom. I know this sounds crazy as liberal, I am woman hear me roar as I seem. I'm actually not. And you know I think liberal is a bad word. (BTW I joined Barack Obama and John Edwards' political groups today. Just because you get the chance to meet them if they come to your city. HOW COOL IS THAT?! I'm such a politics groupie. Barack is just cool. Edwards is adorable.) I would love to be able to hang out all day (while the kids are at school) and work when I want to. Trust. I know stay-at-home moms have a lot of work on their hands. Notice I said when the kids are at school. I say I want 3 kids but sometimes I'm not sure. I mean WOW! I just want to go straight to being a grandmother so I can give them back, but alas, there are steps that must be taken i.e. pregnancy, labor, birth. Pesky rules.

In going back for links to earlier posts, I realized I'd done this before. This is why I don't do tags. Who even remembers them? No one. Not even the author. I will not be tagging anyone else. This is my tag version of mindspacing. Do not ask me to do a tag again. I will become very violent and throw sharp objects in the direction of your city.


Gym Beefs

*this is an angry rant. if you are offended by harsh language, come back in a few days*

You know what? I hate you. Yeah you. The one who comes to the gym to socialize. I'm fly by my damn self ok? I don't need your validation. And I don't come here to make friends. I know that sounds bitchy and counterproductive for the girl who has not a single black female friend in Pittsburgh and would like to find one but OLD PEOPLE, MEN, I AM NOT HERE FOR YOU!!!!

And you know how women are. You can't go up to someone and just start talking. You can't be like, wanna be my friend? This is not the playground. It is not 8th grade or 4th grade by the monkey bars. I was sooo that girl. I had a million friends. Playing by yourself? I'll save her! Right Stace? Hahahaha. My only Capt. Save-a-hoe activies. I will not be the one to help out folk who don't want to help themselves, but in elementary school I was the one. Hahahahahaha.

Back to the gym. Yesterday I was PISSED!!!! This old white dude with I SWEAR inch long eyebrows. They were far beyond the average eyebrow line. He looked insane. AND he had on red daisy dukes. I'm disgusted by your attire. Apparently his whole coalition was there. Two people were on the ellipticals next to me, the other three including this giant man I have never seen actually on a machine or even walking on the track, only talking loudly with people actually working out, were standing around. STFU!!! I am not here to listen to your conversations. Take that ish outside. I'm gettin pissed all over again. THEN some woman who's hair was far too long for her age (she was like 35 with hair halfway down her back. you look ridiculous with hair that long after about 30. sorry about that. see ann curry when she was growing out her hair for an example of what does not work.) with too many earrings for her age (no lie, 5 per ear in progressively smaller hoops, WHO DOES THIS ANYMORE????? I know I'm the consumate fashion critic and all but seriously this is not the projects circa 1993... AND YOU'RE AT THE GYM!!) decides to talk OVER ME to the dudes all 65+ congregating on the ellipticals next to mine.

I was daydreaming while I was going to sleep last night about snapping at them, "Do you mind?" Know why? Because then when I got off the elliptical, do you know when I went to the stationary bikes ONE OF THESE ASSHOLES (eyebrows magee) decides to FOLLOW ME!!! GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN AKA EYEBROWS MAGEE!!! so pissed. I was seething. Just because I'm listening to my ipod doesn't mean I can't hear you, you yelling arse bastard!!! I put in a good 30 minutes total on the elliptical and bike but I did cut my time short because I couldn't take them. And they were everywhere!!! When I was doing my crunches, two dudes went up to another one and told him not to park in the one dude's space again. WTF?!!! I wanted to know where his space was so I could purposely park there. Rude bastards.

While we're talking about the gym, let's talk more about inappropriate clothing. I am not requesting you to be as fly as me because I mean, come on. But is it so much to ask you to match? Same color family? No? Well how bout you don't wear this color anymore: its a brownish mustard color. I don't really know how to describe it but I've seen far too much of it. I describe it as "ass ugly don't ever wear it again" or "regurgitated insides." Its disgusting and seems to be popular in menswear. This color is following me because I also saw it when I saw Kyle at the airport for like five minutes. Horrific.

Also, thou shalt not wear cutoff shirts, jockey shorts and combat boots. I can't make this up people. *shudder* I was going to say men should not wear it but women shouldn't either. Saw a woman in jockey shorts 5 seconds later and was equally appalled. Please don't. So grossed out. I also hate the people who feel the need to bare their stomachs. No matter what your stomach looks like, this is a bad move. If your body is nice, you're just showing off and pissing people off. If your body is a mess, you're grossing us out. Just cover yourself.

Old ladies in the gym. Why are they so willing to bare all? It's really nasty. And everytime I'm looking down while getting dressed trying to avoid eye contact with the wrinkled skin all over creation, I wonder if I'll be that old lady one day. Will I just whip off my towel in the middle of the locker room while some 24 year old cowers in the corner? I don't know. But for now, I'll just continue to cringe and pray daily today is not the day I have to see another one. Please. I don't ever want to see you naked lady no matter your age. Just stop. Thanks.