Who Needs A Whole Toenail? or The Night I Befriended Classy Jojo

For a long time I used to see Classy Jojo and think, "Why is she so hyper?" I didn't know her but I didn't like her because she was ALWAYS on 10 (like a hyper scale goes 1-10, 1 being the lowest). Always. I'd see her in the cafe, the lobby of our dorm, whatever and be like I need her to calm it on down. But one night me and the drankin patnah (it used to be drinking partner until the Youngbloodz decided to come out with that cd while we were at HU) decided to go out with Z, D and A. D was another who was usually on 10, or at least 9.5, but for some reason I liked her. I think because I got to know her. I didn't know Classy Jojo was gonna be there, too, I was just down for whatever in college when it came to going out. If we were friends and you invited me, the answer was yes. That is a large part of why I had a blast and knew a huge swath of random people.

Anyway so I knew J was in my abnormal psych class and that was the closest I'd been to her, but this night we were at a "house party." I use that term loosely because it was really just a bunch of people sitting around an apartment drinking with music happening to be in the background. I guess that's as much a house party as the ones where we danced all night because I definitely went to enough of both. I think of the former of more of an every day gathering. Regardless, we went there and got the night started but our level of excitement far surpassed the super low key "party" so we decided despite being juniors and normally thinking ourselves above such things, we decided to go to the gym jam.

Best decision EVER!! Lol. By this time we were all feeling quite happy and I was loving J. I thought she was hilarious! Of course I blamed it but after that night she didn't annoy me anymore and we had a blast from there on out and now that she lives in Charlotte (for now), we always hang out when I'm in town. We are RIDICULOUS together as Rah can attest. LOL!!

Back to that night. We headed to the gym jam. I see this freshman, Six (because he was the 6th... yeah...) who I'd asked already if I could call him Dynasty or the Roc or some other crazy names. He said no to all of them but I'm pretty sure I said I wasn't gonna call him what everyone else called him and called him Dynasty anyway most of the time. Lol. I can't remember why I knew him. I think b/c I was a student leader. No matter. I see him and I say hey, give him a hug. He steps on my toe and I feel a tug. I look down at my flip flop-clad feet and I'M BLEEDING! Thanks big 6-0, 250 lb. dude! Half of my big toenail is hanging off!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! I'm freaking out! Not because it hurts. I barely feel it. Because it looks scary!! Lol. Since we're all blaming it that night, we create a faux E.R. situation in the gym. We run downstairs to the locker room giggling and overreacting (it is entirely possible that someone, likely J, was doing a siren even though I don't remember this) where I contort myself to put my foot in sink to run cold water over it and stop the bleeding. A brings a cop downstairs. I'm like, "What?!? Why????" She's like, "She hurt her toe! Do you have a first aid kit!?" He's very bored and says no. I shoo him away and out of the ladies locker room and go about my business. (She was by far the funniest blamer of the night. HILARIOUS while drinking.) I go for it and rip the toenail off, since I can barely feel it anyway. It hurts but only for a minute and just a little. I wrap an outrageous amount of toilet paper around it, mummy-style and... keep the party going.

HAHAHAHA!!! Yes I did!! I tell Six what he did and he's aghast and apologizing. I'm like, "It's cool! I had a little bit to drink and can hardly feel it!" He looked at me like I was nuts. Lol. But that's why to this day I only have half a big toenail on my right foot.





Sike! Just playin. I'm fully toenailed up. But that was a funny night! And still cracks me up! Lol.

Oh! And I forgot to say, I met fave roomie through Classy Jojo!

Ask and you shall receive

I said you guys could ask me some questions, too. Cnel came up with five more. Y'all so nosy.

1) Where do see yourself five years from now?
Wow. I have no idea. 3 weeks ago I would've said married. Now? Same. The view's a bit different but I can't imagine not being married at 29, almost 30, though I know plenty of people who are/were. On the professional level, I will be running something, calling shots. "Wanna be a... balla, shot calla!" Name that song. I bet Joy will be the first or La. I will probably be making documentaries at that point, too. Something about black people.

2) What constitutes the ideal friendship?
Honesty is paramount. If you're gonna lie to me, it's best we not talk. If you're going to expect me not to be honest, you shouldn't ask. I'm not going to try to hurt your feelings, but if you ask a question, I'll answer honestly. Do I think your boyfriend's a bastard? Yeah. You know you deserve to be treated better. Do you look fat in that? That does not flatter you. Go up a size. Etc, etc. I also need a friend who is happy for me. If your depression outweighs the happiest event in my life, then what's the point. You ALWAYS have something negative to say, I can't deal. Fun is near unparallel. I like a talker, but a listener is tres important as well.

3) What do you consider your best qualities?
My honesty, drive and charisma. I can come off a bit harsh, but when I want to be, I am quite charming. And I love to have fun! Who can beat that?

4) If you were not in journalism, what would you be doing?
Documentaries. But its still journalism to me, just in a longer form. I wouldn't want to be a documentarian (I don't know if I just made that up) who puts her opinion in every work. I just want to tell people's stories. I also wouldn't mind being a researcher or fact checker. But I would still need to be writing and calling the shots on some level.

5) What's your favorite drink aside from nasty a%% beer?
Beer is more cost efficient. You have to figure out what beer flavors you like. I'm not a fan of Coronas or Heinekens but the more I drink beer, the less repulsive they become. I can't stand Coors Lite and Miller Lite is worse. Blech. I'm a fan of Honey Brown and Yuengling.

I love margaritas. I also like tequila sunrises. (sense a pattern?) Soco and lime is a yummy choice, too. Amaretto sours are good. Don't get me started.

I'm Mellllllllllting!! Meellllllllltiiiiingggg!!

Man that was the coolest part of the Wizard of Oz. That and the fact that she got to wear those hot ruby slippers. I also wanted to be Glenda the Good Witch when I grew up.

"Ding dong the witch is dead! Mean old witch! The wicked old witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is deaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!!"

Fabulous.

Why am I so overjoyed? Because on Saturday as I was producing my show, I happened to pay attention during weather. Know what happened? Wednesday was on the 5-day forecast. Guess what it said? 41. Guess what? It was 41 when I got to work at 1 am. Know how that felt? Like a summer breeze.

If you live in the south right now, close your ears (I used to crack up when my mom used to tell us that. I was like, "Mom. You can't close your ears." Then she'd say, "Well turn them off." HUH-larious). I don't want to hear any of you talk about how cold it has been there and it's warming up. I also do not want you saying 41 is not warm. (Yes, Cnel, I am once again telling people how to talk. My mom hates when I do this. Kyle is not a fan of it either. Five words. Naa, naa, na, boo, boo. MY blog. I am crackin myself up today!!!).

It's amazing how your body reconstitutes it self and adjusts to just about anything. After literally weeks of sub-zero and single digit wind chills, 40 feels downright balmy. I now understand why people in Pittsburgh start stripping when it hits 45. Your body is so used to highs in the 20s that when the lows are in the 20s or higher, you lose your mind. I would die if I were to move back home right now. Texas? WOW! I would need to move in October to try to slide in. Pittsburgh is also notoriously dark and gloomy. Often cloudy which as you know makes you SAD.

Ice is melting all over creation. It is getting rid of all the messy nastiness when it melts as water, but when big chunks of ice fall... multiple people at work have had thousands, yes THOUSANDS of dollars of damage from ice falling on their cars, including through their windshields. Nobody hurt but yeah... that is not cute. Imagine that falling on your head! Yikes!

IT'S MARDI GRAS!!!!! LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ!!! (Let the good times roll!) Man I wish I was in the NO right now. I would be gettin it. Giant hurricane in hand. Strolling to the daiquiri bar. Sigh. I love drinking holidays. This one, cinco de mayo and St. Patrick's Day. So jolly.

Anyone else notice that BET plays the MOST hood songs ever on 106 & Park and Rap City? Crime Mob's "Rock Yo Hips," Huey's "Pop Lock and Drop It." Rap City I'm used to but WOW! I don't even need to go home. I can stay up to date on the music of my homeland by watching BET. I've been forcing myself to watch even though the music is getting closer and closer to nails on a chalkboard to me. Sigh. So sad! And is it just me or are all the girls in these videos girls from their neighborhoods. "Keisha! Ay! Whatchu doin later taday? Yo, I'm makin a video. You wanna be in it?"

I have to get used to it again, though because that's all they play in the clubs at home and when I'm at home, I AM GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT IF I CAN HELP IT!!! Can't wait. March 21st homies. I'M GOING HOME!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!! I'm gonna have a blast even if all I do is hang with my crew(s).