You've got some serious catching up to do. I notice a lot of people are coming out of the woodworks with some head scratching and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa's??? So. Kyle broke up with me (he doesn't tell his friends who did the breaking up. Isn't that convenient? Makes him look much less like the bad guy).
I'm back from Connecticut. It was a very awkward trip. It started out well enough because Ashli picked me up from the airport. Yay!!!! We headed to the mall. I tried on a skirt in Express. It didn't really fit in the waist. I said, "I'm sure I can't go down a size, though." She said, "Just try it on." I did, then gasped, came out of the dressing room and said, "Ashli!!!!! I'm a size 2!! I'm a size 2!!" Gym, I will never forsake thy name again. Plus this girl at work just gave me a new workout plan. Can't wait to try it so I can get more toned. I don't want to lose any more weight. I'm not sure I know how to do that, though. But hurray for working out.
Then we headed to her new condo. It's tres adorable! Omg. The living room is chocolate brown and teal with a suede chocolate brown sofa and love seat, teal throws and chocolate and brown and teal throw pillows and art. The kitchen is teal, grass green and turquoise. Her bedroom is beige, cream, pink and peach (I may be leaving out a color but its gorgeous, too). Love it. Very Ashli, very modern.
Then we went to her parents' house so I could meet the new niece. Cute baby! Just 2 months old. Awww. Ashli's sister cooked spaghetti with meat sauce. Yummy. We also had garlic bread courtesy of Shop Rite... and the college bartender re-appeared! Yay!! Ash made me a peach-raspberry margarita. MMMMMMMMMMM! Tequila, margarita mix, Chambord (delicious raspberry liquer), and peach nectar. Wow. Yum in a margarita glass.
After dinner, we went back to Ashli's house. The plan was to go to Room 960.... but we fell asleep. I woke up, called Kyle, who originally told me he couldn't drink or dance because of his foot. I'm like, "Well, what's the point?" He decided he'd take me anyway. I got dressed: black patent leather pumps with 3" stiletto heels, jeans, sleeveless black and white polka dot shirt-dress with a low cut v-neck and a green sash, green leaf earrings, black patent leather clutch. When he finally pulled up behind us, it smacked me in the face how little I wanted to see him. Ashli commanded me not to cry so I took several deep breaths, then got my bag out of the trunk.
He said, "HI!!" excitedly. I, depressingly said, "Hey." I walked up to the car, put my bag in the trunk as he hobbled toward me. I didn't hug him and I saw his face fall. He hobbled to the door. I heard the bouncer say $20. We already knew the place was closing in an hour. I didn't understand why Kyle had on regular shoes. He didn't want to wear the air cast. Wth? You don't think the air cast explains more than you hobbling like a nut job? I'm like I'm not paying $20 for an hour in some Hartford club. We turn around and he says, "I'm sorry I ruined your night." Yeah right, not going to 960 ruined my night. Seeing you ruined my night. I'm not ready for this.
We head back to his house, watch part of the MTV Movie Awards, I drink a couple of Heinekens and read the "Tyler's Ultimate" cook book he gave me. We fell asleep without so much as a hug or a peck on the cheek. Never doubt my will power people. I refuse to be the back and forth girl. You want to be with me or you don't. I will not allow you to act like nothing happened. You want to cuddle, hug, kiss, get a girlfriend or something else. You wanted your freedom, you've got it.
I won't go into crazy detail of everything that happened because it's painful, but the next day we went to see "Knocked Up." It was funny and pretty good. I definitely said, "This is why I will never have a one night stand. Because that's how you end up pregnant by some guy who has no job." Horrific. Then we came back to his house and made chicken parmesan over spaghetti. After that, we went to his friend Courtney's house because it was his birthday, and to watch game 1 of the NBA Finals. It was VERY awkward because of course Courtney was there and another guy Reggie, both of whom I've seen just about every time I've been to Connecticut, including my birthday party and our anniversary party. The birthday party was at Courtney's house. So I started hitting the beer. Much better.
Headed back to Kyle's, he puts on the Evolution of Robin Thicke and I get pissed. I'm talking switching songs, getting out of the car, slamming the door, stomping up the stairs, into the apartment, throwing my stuff around, pissed. He says, "What's wrong?" Really?!?!?! What's wrong?!! You really don't know? "Why did you play that cd?" "Because I wanted to hear something mellow and its my favorite R&B cd right now." I hate you. I gave him that cd. "To the Sky" was our song. And you thought it was cool to play it? What a jerk.
The next morning I told him I couldn't see him anymore. Amazingly, he asked why not. "Because I thought we were going to be together forever. Last night you told me you broke up with me because you knew it wouldn't work out long term." "I didn't say I knew. I said I thought." "Well you felt strongly enough about it to end it. And if you don't want to be with me, and you're obviously ready to move on, then I have to move on as well. And I can't do that by seeing you and you telling me you still love me. And this is so awkward." "I didn't think it would always be like that. This is so final."
What do you want from me? I didn't ask that again, but I don't understand what he expected when he broke up with me. While I was there he sounded so disappointed that I wouldn't even let him hug me without permission. I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. And right now, I'm not sure I can be your friend. I still love you and I have to stop. I can't do that when I'm seeing you. Did you think I'd still come to Connecticut every other month? Hug you? Cuddle with you? Empathize with you over every event in your life? I have to let you go like you decided to do with me.