Tag this

I have been tagged... here it is. The five things you never knew about me but always wanted to and didn't know how to ask.

1) I like funerals. I know it sounds strange but its closure for me. And I prefer to see the person lowered into the ground. When I was 6, my sister's best friend got hit by a car and died. Within the next 2 years, an uncle, my grandmother, grandfather and softball coach all died. So I was exposed to death very early. My mother explained it to me, bought books, the whole nine. I think it made me very well-adjusted (if i do say so myself lol) and a lot easier for me to deal with death. This year I attended one of the best funerals of my life. My fellow Hamptonian and Student Leader, 25-year-old Dr. Kenny Riddle died in a car accident in September. It was an inspiration to see how many he had touched in 25 years. It would not be an exaggeration to say there were at least 500 people there. Amazing. The music was amazing, and as he was a member of Tye Tribbett and Greater Annointing, I was introduced to their music. Walk tall Student Leaders just as tall as you can! You're the BEST student leaders in the whole blessed land!

2) I want to skip having children and go straight to being a grandma. I think that would be so cool. You don't have the child birth, terrible twos, dreadful teenage "I HATE YOU MOM!! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!" years, you know actual raising. And when the kids act up, you get to give them back. Nice. Anyone know how I can get on that plan? And I'm still going to have my grandkids call me "Grandma Dahling." They'll think my first name is Dahling. That's hilarious! Lololol. And then I'll sign things Love Dahling (your cool grandma).

3) I want a chef! A lady in my book club in Charlotte was married to a chef. A five-star chef at that. He used to cook for all the meetings hosted at their house. How great is that? Never having to cook? Can I get with that? How about Rachael Ray? Can I marry her? I know she's already married, but she's the best! I love her! She sooo taught me how to cook. And the whole not being a lesbian thing kinda gets in the way, too. How about if I just keep her in a little box and take her out when I'm hungry. Can I do that?

4) I'm going to rule the world. Maybe not the actual world, but a large portion of it. I just want to be that person that people aspire to be like. Like interns are scared to talk to me b/c I'm so larger than life. That's cool. But then they talk to me and they're like, "Jameil (can you believe she let me call her that?!) is really nice and down to earth and so successful" and I'll be like, yes, yes, go on. I'm certain I can run the world. And I can't wait!

5) I LOVE the AP wires. I tell you. Those things are addictive. I could read them everyday. When I'm at work, I do. There are the craziest stories on there. Plus, I love knowing all the inane facts of every story I write or hear on television and being able to correct things that aren't exactly accurate. That's so much fun! God bless the AP wires. I read them obsessively. I'm becoming known for that. Like, "If its on the wires, Jameil knows about it." Now that's hot.

Ok so now I'm supposed to tag 5 people, but my blog ring is so incestuous I don't even know that there is anyone left for me to tag... let's see... Elaina, Stacey, Michy-poo (the 3 I inspired to blog! whoo hoo!!), Karamale, and... Queen City Playa. If any of the aforementioned have already been tagged, please do not do this again. I don't need to know that much about you. Lolol. Just kidding guys... I guess. lololol

Lovin' Life

The trip to see Kyle was fabulous. I don't know how we could possibly have any more fun together. I don't. We have fun just sitting in the room eating and watching tv. We don't even need to go anywhere. Its great. And he gave me a beautiful bratch for Christmas. A chain link bracelet w/a lock and key hanging from it. The lock is a watch... hence bratch. Try to stay with me people. I'm flying back out there in January and I'm already so excited! I'm pretty sure I can wait that long.

Tasha's here and I'm soooo excited! She didn't get the whole blog thing. She was like so its like an online journal and people can read it? and you don't mind? ok... Lolol. Hilarious. I'm so glad she's here. I finally have someone to shop with!!! I'm freakin out so much!!! We went to the half-price bookstore and I got 7 books for $33. How great is that? And of course they're all negro books so I will give you the low down when I get done.

I got some books for my friend that got in a car accident. And I'm going to the infamous Target (tar-zjay) to pick up some more things to put together a cute basket. Who knows how long a broken pelvic takes to heal? Anyone? I'm about to look it up. Hold up. Ok so it depends on the severity of the break. If there is any damage to internal organs it can be fatal. She doesn't have that. Thank God. But it could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to heal. And she could have chronic pain. So we'll see. You know I'm so fly. I'm good. The last time I had a friend in a serious car accident, I went all out. And I definitely like this friend way more. She's the stiletto queen so I need to go to Nine West (my fave) and buy her some cute flat shoes. She probably doesn't even own any. Poor thing. Lolol.

Ok so Kyle let me borrow the "Video Vixen" book aka Superhead. This child. I read the intro first and was like, aw this is sad. Then I just keep reading and I want to smack the shit outta her for being so stupid. Ugh. I'm not done but suffice it to say, the review of this one will be scathing. I know I'm late but still you know I will be heard.

I've been tagged. Damn that Marlon. So I guess I'll let you in my business a little bit and reveal some never before seen footage of my life. It will be fantabulous. You'll love it. Alright dahlings (oh yeah I've decided my grandchildren should call me grandma darling... isn't that hilariously adorable?!). Anyway I must go be the fabulous consumate entertainer that is I.

Merry Christmas Baby...

Who sings that? You know the sexy man voice version. Otis Redding? I don't think so. I heard his version today and it wasn't quite what I had in mind. Hmmm... Anyway. Definitely not one of my best Christmases (how do you make that word plural?) Come on copy editors. Help me out. It seems kind of pointless to post again today when one person read yesterday, but its Christmas and I'm at work with nothing to do... so post I will.

As I said in the last post, I was sad because I was like, I'll be all alone for Christmas and that sucks. No one wants that. I mean come on, I live with my dad. Why do I gotta be alone? So yesterday I thought I was ok and was over it. Then this morning I woke up and waited for my phone to ring... and waited... and waited. Then I gave up and called my friend Michy-poo. We talked for an hour which made me feel better. I had talked to Stacey and Kyle before dawn could crack. Then around 12:45 I got really pissed. So I called my sister to ask her why she hadn't called me on Christmas and where was her mother, and why hadn't she called me either. It wasn't nice of me to call to pick a fight but I couldn't help it. I was in a pissy mood. Misery loves company. I said, this ain't cool. I'm away from my family for the first Christmas and they don't even have the decency to call me. Heathens. And I sent my mom and sister money for Christmas. I was mad b/c my mom spent hers and held my sister's until today. I would prefer for my Christmas gifts to be given out when I send them. Is that so much to ask? That really made me mad. I would've liked to feel appreciated and loved on Christmas. She went to church and didn't come back until like 130. At 215 my sister still didn't know!!! I'm like, What the FUCK!! I'm sorry. I'm being bad. I shouldn't curse anyway. But certainly not on Jesus' birthday. I couldn't help it. That really made my blood pressure rise. What are you waiting for?!!!! Christmas? It is Christmas!!!!! Ugh. Next topic please. I'm getting pissed again.

So I go in to work and everyone's pretty ok. I mean we are all in this boat together. And before I got to work I called Kyle and he let me cry on the phone and that made me feel a little bit better. And the weekend morning producer gave me a Christmas card which made me happy, too. She's a really cool person. It makes having to come in EVERY weekend a lot more bearable. Speaking of which. Why am I working every weekend? When can a sista get a weekend off? I'm sayin. I'm not askin for every weekend or even a weekend a month. But the last weekend I had off (entire weekend I'm sayin) was when I requested off in October to go to Homecoming. And I'm pretty sure that's the only one I've had. Ok there might have been one more. But I'm sayin.

January schedules are out and that makes 6 months (WOW! I didn't realize that soon I will have been at the station for 6 months soon-- that's cool). I think that's a bit much. Especially when I know for a fact this one girl did not work one entire weekend in November or December. And do you know this bitch had the nerve to complain that she's working every weekend in January. Welcome to the club. Now shut up and get to work. Wouldn't it make more sense not to schedule the shit out of people and rotate? Whatever. Maybe one day a nameless person will figure out the subtleties of scheduling. Come on. Is it really that hard? You have all the old schedules in front of you. Use them!!!

Anyway. At least I get to see Kyle tomorrow. Yay!! He's the best. We always have fun together. I just wish there was a Duke or Kentucky game on so we could watch it together and I could rub that in his face. Maybe when I go up there in January. Ooh! And he said we can watch it at ESPN. How jealous are you of me? I mean damn. I'm jealous of myself!! Lololol. So I've decided that I will post a series on what I've learned this year, how I've grown as a person, and how I'll be able to move forward with grace in the next year. I love that name. That was my great-grandmother's name. So beautiful. Grace. Anyway. Stacey calls me Sidetrack Bob. I wonder why....

So while I'm at work I get a call from my friend Tasha (see last post) that another one of our friends was in a car accident. She has no memory of what happened. State police tell her she hit a tree and the car flipped several times. She had to be cut out of the back of the SUV. She broke her pelvic bone and several bones in her back. And she sounds like hell. She's all drugged up on morphine. That shit is scary. She'll be in the hospital for several days but won't know if she'll need therapy or surgery until tomorrow. So since I can't go see her, I'm trying to figure out what cute, creative, crafty-type thing I'll be doing. I'm notorious for these things. I want it to be some huge gesture. We've been friends for more than 10 years now. Wow. I just realized we've been friends forever. She's my true hangin buddy. I can always count on her to stay in the streets with me until like 7 in the morning. We're gonna get that whole pelvic thing healed (well not we, I can't help you w/that dog, some things you gotta do on your own lol) and we're hittin the streets. Back in *insert ghetto diva/sapphire/boneqweesha/brocccaleigha/lafebreeeziya voice* "stilleto pumps in the club" (she wears more stilletos that anyone else I know) and is always down to hit the clubs with me. Dammit. BTW, I actually do know of a girl named Bonequeesha, Daquiri, and Aquanetta (yes she was named after the hair spray). I know a girl named Qadriyyah (pronounced kwah-dree-ya), Tyewanda, and I think this one takes the cake... Febreezia!!! NOOOOOOOO!! Oh yeah and one of my cousin's middle name is Fenekia. I don't know what the hell that's about. I asked my mom and she just shrugged like that's her name. Ummm... ok. Alright y'all that's it for the ghetto name report, and my worst Christmas to date.

Don't worry, I am in much better spirits now despite the bad news. I think I'm happy because at least she's still alive. She still has all her limbs. I mean it could have been much worse. The officer says she's "lucky to be alive." She said he also claims she wasn't wearing a seatbelt which she says she always wears. Hey guys. A former friend I once cared about a lot was in a serious car accident and definitely not wearing a seatbelt. His friend fell asleep at the wheel and he was thrown through a windshield. He could have died as well. Just wear your seatbelts please.

Also, it might be a couple of days until I can post with the trip, and Tasha coming to visit. I'll holla when I can!

Ho ho ho

Hola bloggers!

It is Christmas Eve. Two days ago I was very depressed thinking about how I was going to be waking up alone on Christmas morning with no Christmas tree or decorations like it was any other day of the year. And then I would go to work. Then I came to work yesterday (the day my sister, my cousins and I like to refer to as Christmas Eve Eve). One of my producers gave me a Bath and Body Works gift set, my exec. producer had already given me a Starbucks gift card, and one of the meteorologists brought apple cinnamon popcorn for everyone. It was so sweet! Then one of the photogs starts yelling that it doesn't feel like Christmas. I'm crackin up by this point because he's practically running. Its hilarious. So he starts blasting Christmas music and instantly cheered me up! Whoo hoo! Its Christmas!!

The whole holiday/not Christmas greeting thing. Can it stop please? So annoying. This woman at Burger King was decked out in the Santa hat w/a variety of other Christmas para and do you know she had the nerve to say "Happy Holidays?" Really? Because of the whole Jewish/Hanukkah santa thing? I get it. I rolled my eyes so hard its amazing I was still able to drive. Then when I was buying some gifts, this dude said "Merry Christmas" when he handed me my purchase and I almost did a dance in the store. The whole hoopla is so annoying. And I think more annoying than Happy Holidays is all the controversy this year. When will people admit that political correctness has a limit? Geez guys.

I'm very excited because I get to see the b.f. on Monday!! Whoo hoo!! And Wednesday two of my friends from home are coming to see me! All the way from Charlotte. Poor things. They have no idea what they're getting themselves into. We are not accustomed to this kind of cold. You know the kind, Yankees, where 30 degree weather is warm or normal. We've had a heat wave this week. People lost their mind yesterday when it hit 43. I saw a dude in short sleeves, and another one driving with the windows down. Lololol. Really? All that? I was DYIN laughin. That's hilarious. Go ahead and catch the p-namonia/panonia if you want to. Not me! (Don't worry guys I really know how to spell pneumonia! lol)

Anyway so I'm really excited that my friends are coming to visit. They're my first visitors (other than my sister for a day on Thanksgiving) in the 5 months that I've been here. Yay! Meagan and Tasha have been my friends since middle school. That's right, takin it waaaaay back. There were originally 7 of us. Over the years, the circle of friends has morphed-- you know how it is. It grows and shrinks depending on who's mad at who, or who's not talking to who, or just growing up and apart. So its not down to just us three, but there is a core four. That's hot. You like that don't you? The core four. I'm so proud of us. All successful and ish. M's working on her master's in Animal Science, and Natasha's an accountant. Don't that sound all professional and impressive? Hey, being that I'm so cool, how on earth did I wind up with TWO friends that are accountants? Lololol. I crack myself up.

Ok people, I'll be here tomorrow, too (at work) so check in for another life update. Merrrrrrrrrry Christmas!

So Young, So Angry

Apparently my last post was not well-liked by the people. Here is what my boyfriend had to say:

SUBJECT: Stilleto pumps in the club??

Holy Moley!!!! NOWHERE???? Come on Jameil. I was wearing a black undershirt when I took you to the mall this month. Matter of fact, I wore that same outfit when I picked you up from the airport the day before. No one told you to come out the house with Stiletto pumps everyday. Do you actually think men expect that??? Hampton University gave you that mindset. That is not reality.

Let me school you on the "Tee" game. First of all, there are cheap Tees (3 or 4 for $10) and there are quality Tees ($20 per shirt). You might think $20 is cheap, but I know for a fact that Bebe has $20 tops that you would love to wear. Secondly, the Tee DOES NOT make the outfit. It's all about the accessories. Nice, Designer Jeans start off at $60. You could rock a nice watch or some fresh kicks with a Tee and look GOOD. Lazy??? Do you have any idea how hard it is to find the perfect Fitted to match a pair of shoes??? Men will travel to 3 or 4 different malls to find "the right color red". I understand there is a right outfit and a wrong outfit for any occasion; but your bias against Tees are OUTRAGEOUS. Just for that, I'm wearing a Tee when I come see you next week. Wait. It's cold. I can't. You're lucky it's December.

Gee whiz. Tell me how you really feel. So here was my response (I ain't like that too much). And do you know that negro called me bougie?! If you went to FAMU or NSU (Stacey loves when I make that comparison), then you need to hush. Lololol.

Was that tirade really necessary? I think no. Jerk. I hope you do wear your t-shirt and freeze to death. I still think its lazy and there are many that will agree with me. Do you know why? BECAUSE I'M RIGHT. Because I'm allllllllways right. Lolol.

Let's go over why I'm right and you're wrong, based of course on your examples. So... you allege that men spend $20 on a tee-shirt which is nothing since a Bebe shirt will cost that much. Wrong. A baby tee will most likely cost 2-3xs that amount; and a regular club-attire/cabaret-type shirt could start at $75 and go on up from there? Been in bebe lately? And I don't wear their overpriced clothing thank you very much. I don't care how much you spend on your white tee. Its still just a white tee. I don't care if you take your hat to every store in the Mall of America and the whole state of Minnesota to match the right red. L-A-Z-Y that spells lazy!!!

And you may not expect the stilleto pumps everyday, but you know if I were to step out in the tee shirt and jeans you would be shocked. Don't lie. Like perhaps to a broadway show? But since you will disagree with me just to spite me. Guess what? I'm bringing only tee-shirts and sweatshirts. And tight pants with granny panties. And baggy jeans. And I won't take a shower. That's how it looks when dudes roll up in a tee-shirt.

I let you slide b/c I love you and we weren't going anywhere. Who dresses up for the mall/airport? 8th graders. But if you think we're going on a date and you have on a white tee and I have on heels, you got another think coming. That's a double standard I've seen more times than I care to even think about!! It is soooo sad that you think a tee shirt looks "GOOD" b/c you have on semi-expensive jeans and a nice watch. Cue tear. Roll tear. Cue Sigh. Roll sigh. Did you learn nothing at the good ol H of U? I'm mad you think you can teach ME about accessories. ME!! Have you met me???? Have you??? Once?? I think I need to submit your diatribe to my blog for my readers to be the judges. You hater.

The nerve! So I'm saying. Am I right or am I right? I'm right, right? I know I'm right. You wouldn't get mad about your lil ugly white tees if you didn't wear them. Stop wearin them ugly hoes. Lololol. Why is that bougie b/c I want you to look like something when you leave the house. I'm sayin. Is that so wrong?? I think not. Maybe I should sing a song about it. Like to hear it? Hear it go. "Don't. Be. Half. Steppin!" Now. Get mad at that. Don't worry guys, the relationship's not over. We like to fight. I do, anyway. You know why? Because I'm right!!!! So there.

Do I have to?

Be your token negro? Because sometimes it really pisses me off. There is one girl that outside of this I generally like. She makes me laugh and I'm around her a lot. But everytime someone comes on tv w/diamond earrings, she has to say something to me about their "bling." Are you serious? Really? What am I supposed to say to that? I don't understand. I really don't care. And then there's this other older white man that I'm around a lot and who's opinion I really value in life and especially in work-related things. HOWEVER, I do NOT care for your opinion on earrings. Nearly daily, he feels the need to expound on his dislike for men wearing two earrings. First, they're not wearing them for you. Second, if they were why would you care? Third, I wouldn't expect an older white man to understand it. Fourth, is it necessary that I co-sign on your beliefs on the subject for them to be valid? Because it really annoys me when you expect me to.

Well here it is. I DON'T CARE!!! I was born Black in 1982. Nearly my whole life (if not the entire thing), I have seen men with earrings. That is not a big deal to me. I really don't care one way or the other. If he has earrings, so what. If he doesn't have earrings, SO WHAT?!! One, two. I really don't care. Now any other piercings I really can't get with. Tongue rings? So cliche' and you know what Chris Rock says about men with tongue rings. Lololol. And 3-6 Mafia, too. Lololol. Eyebrow piercings? No way. That is so not sexy. Cartilage piercings? Very borderline. Hoops? Also borderline. Giant Cam'ron-esque monstrosities? Tres wack. If I wouldn't wear them, you certainly shouldn't.

By the way, I also can't stand how there were mad dudes that wouldn't have been caught dead in pink 3 years ago, but Cam'ron wears it and all of a sudden men can buy pink tennis shoes? Word? I think that's bullshit. I can love a man in pink. But he's got to do it on his own. And I want pink dress clothes. Like a shirt and tie w/pink accents. Ooh. Sexy. Not a pink fitted and jersey w/the matching sneaks. That looks ridiculous and contrived. And there is nothing sexy about a follower who tries too hard. Nothing.

I want to give BIG ups to "the Philly clique" as we used to call them at Hampton. They were wearing pastels at least as far back as 2000, not caring what anyone thought. I must admit I thought they were strange. I mean I'm from the South, raging homophobe capital of the world. There are so many things dudes at home wouldn't have been caught dead in. Even more strange were the DC boys w/their puffy paint shirts and Warner Bros. para and glitter. *shudder* I still can't get with that. No way. But the pastels? Oh yeah. I applaud the Philly clique for not caring what anyone thought and lookin fly while doin it.

OOH!! While we're talking about men's fashion (which I LOVE, can you tell?), let me tell you my BIGGEST pet peeve. White Tees!! This is the laziest "fashion" statement I have ever seen in my life. I thought jerseys were lazy. I really did. I thought that was as lazy as lazy could get. I'm going to let my favorite character from "Overheard at the Mecca" take over here.

Collegiate Thug 1: Yo son, I don't got nothing to wear.
Collegiate Thug 2: I'm sayin' why 'ont you pull out dat fitted. Rock it wit dat.
CT 1: Yeah! Aight. I'll be ready to go as soon as I get done with my sociology dissertation on the how the rights of women in the workplace are being misconstrued in a transgendered society.
CT 2: Aight b. I got a couple books on that at the crib you could use in your Works Cited. Get at me if you need it.
CT 1: That's what's up, dog! Good looks. One.

Was that right overheard ladies? Lol. The point is... you look ridiculous in your matching clothes. That is so 2003. Lolol. I admit it. I used to think there was nothing flyer than a dude w/a Celtics outfit on. There was something about a man in green and gold. No more people. Time to grow up. For real. And the white tees. Word? A week of outfits cost you $10. But don't let a girl be that lazy. Oh noooooo! We got to rock the "stilleto pumps in the club" and on the street daily. AND look like we stepped off the pages of a magazine. There would be mutiny, mutiny I tell you!! If women decided to take even a month long break from dressing and just started wearing oversized white or black tees every single day. Guess what. I ain't goin NOWHERE w/someone who shows up in a plain white or black tee. No where. Go back and try it again. Lololol. For real. Is that so much to ask? If I'm lookin like a model (shut up, a print model. so what if I'm 5'1?), then you need to come correct as well.

Back to the matter at hand. Simple diamond studs? I DON'T CARE!! Matter of fact, I can get with that. And if when you get done w/those 3-carat studs you want to pass them my way, it would be wrong of me to deny you the pleasure of re-gifting.

So There!! Today's So Nice I Posted Twice

Of late, I have had far too many people coming over this way complaining about the length of my posts. Hey there! You be quiet! This says "all me all the time." Me means me. As in I. As in mine. As in je. As in moi. As in senorita. As in mademoiselle. So I just want to thank Aisha T. for posting a long ass hilarious post. I'm inspired. Tomorrow I will post an 8-page post. Lol. And haters... you will miss me when I'm gone!! So there!!! lololol

Career Change

I just want to take the time out today to say FCUK THE UNION!!! I don't even live in NY and I'm pissed. I know this will shock and amaze the people, but I agree w/Bloomberg. That shit is selfish. 7-million stranded okay bad enough. But in working in Pittsburgh for this long I have seen too much union activity. Teachers on strike for 2 months. Parking lot workers on strike b/c they want more money (they make $15 an hour), they don't want to have to clean the parking lot during down time (wtf??? so what else are you going to do???), and they don't want to pay for health care (excuse me?? I have to, but you don't b/c you work in a parking lot???) And you don't have to clean the parking lot??? I've been yelling about this for months to all of my friends. I'm sayin. That's some bullshit.

And can I tell you that there were 4 garbage men in Pittsburgh that made more than $100,000 last year. I'm getting pissed all over again people. Are you serious?? Pharmacists w/PharmD's make that!! After anywhere from 6-8 years in school!!! i'm pissed right now. I don't make nearly that and I'm sure everyone else w/their first job out of college, no matter how great it is, does NOT make that. Most people don't even make half that. And THAT is some bullshit!! And we don't have that great of benefits. Do you know the union pres says this is a fight over retirement. Are you kidding me???? Are you f-ing kidding me????? Are you??? You can't be serious!!! You get retirement packages to drive a bus. Let me exerpt the terms offered to them. Let's see if you can get with them making this...(direct quote from the aol article)

The union said the latest MTA offer included annual raises of 3 percent, 4 percent and 3.5 percent; the previous proposal included 3 percent raises each year. MTA workers earn around $47,000 to $55,000 annually.

Word?? Word??? Teachers across America make HALF that. HALF. That shit ain't right. It ain't right!!! You don't go to college and you get to make more than every single one of my friends that has been out of college for less than 3 years? That is assinine. So you're saying we care more about the people who take us around the city than the people who are teaching the next generation? That's what I'm hearing. F-it. I want my money back from HU, and I'm changing careers. And I'm out.

Pt II: No Pictures Please

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the post you've been waiting for your whole life. Ok maybe not your whole life, but for a while. Day two of my trip to Connecticut started wonderfully. Me and Kyle just chilled out watching tv. Then we went to the mall. Can I tell you I have not been to a wonderful mall since I left Charlotte? Can I say that? I'm not saying there are no worthy malls in Pittsburgh, but maybe there aren't.

Nordstrom!!! The closest Nordstrom is about 2 hours away. Quoi???! I know Charlotte just got it maybe 2 years ago, but I soooo cannot live without that store anymore. One of the world's best shoe collections. Even though Kyle swears everything in that store costs $20 more for no reason. I just know that I love it!! I saw Nordstrom and almost had a coronary!! And he wouldn't let me go!!! What is that about??? Haters!!! Lol. I can already hear him complaining about this. But I'm sayin!! Come on!! I miss that store so much!! And shopping there with mommy dearest *insert scary killer music.* lol. She always lets me play stylist. My dad used to tell us to call her that before we knew what it represented. So diabolical, that d. Lol. I buy a black short-waisted cardigan to go over my gorrrrrrgeous dress for the play, and an adorable navy skirt from Forever 21 (which by the way is in Pittsburgh). So he hurries me out of the mall. We go to Best Buy (its the release day for Weezy F Baby lol I think its hilarious that he calls themself that) so we grab that and I also get Boyz II Men Christmas. Claaaaaaasic!! Yes! We pop in the Weezy and the quote of the day quickly becomes, "Excuse me Mr. Toilet cuz I'm the shit." Lololol. Who says that??? Lil Wayne right? Funny man. So we head back to the house and I'm praying for it not to snow because that would seriously not go with my outfit.

We walk in and two of our fellow Color Purple attendees are already there (one of them is his roommate). The other, has on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt!!! Yes people!! To Broadway and this is what he's wearing! Come on! So Kyle and I get dressed. Too fly. Excuse me. Mr. Toilet cuz WE'RE the shit. Can I tell you how fly we were? Chile. Ok so I had on a knee-length strapless black dress. The bodice had lace overlay, the skirt had a tulle overlay with nude satin underneath, tied with a black satin ribbon. I had 3 inch pointy-toe black satin pumps from Nine West. Kyle had on a 3-piece pin-striped suit, a black/white shirt with CUFFLINKS (I love cufflinks! EVERY man should own a pair!!) , and a black and white tie. Nice. It was me and Kyle with a side of t-shirt. Ugh. Lol.

So me, Kyle, the roommate we'll call D, Big Game, and tee-man K all ride out toward NYC. As soon as we hit the West Side Highway and I can see the city its like love at first sight. My mom hates New York (too crowded) and I'd never been, so I just assumed I wouldn't like it either. Wrong. Clearly I love crowds. I don't necessarily always like standing out. Shocking, I know. Something most of you most likely didn't know about me no matter how well you know me. So what. Lol. So as cliche' as it is, I love New York!!!! Fab. U. Lous. For no reason. We get to the city with about an hour to spare before the show and look around, plan what we will do afterwards.

Then we see the magnificent Broadway marquee.... The Color Purple. *insert choir of angels music* I'm so excited that we have a Broadway show. You know us Black people. With an all Black cast. How ridiculously hot is that? How? I head into the theatre with the phrase "mixed reviews" in my head, but determined to look at the show with a clear mind. I'm well-known as a critic amongst my friends. I do not mince words if I think a movie/song/album/show was not worth my time. We check our coats and grab our FLOOR seats. Ten minutes later who walks down the aisle but the queen herself. That's right, Queen Latifah! She's so cool. But her hair, was not. Ponytail bun. Queen. Come on. We black people here. You know we don't go out the house like that to a Broadway play. (Except K but he don't count. He told Big Game, "I'm sorry I'm not high class like you. Obviously if I was I would've known the dress code!" Umm... boo. You have NY connex. You know your way around the city. But you don't know that you don't go to a Broadway play in a t-shirt? Come on now.)

So anyway. There are maaaaaaaad white people there. Probably 60-40 Black/white. Not really surprising, but I was glad to see *we* came out from all walks of life. And I heard one lady say this was already her 2nd time coming. You go girl! So anyway a group of white people is sitting behind us. One guy starts talking about King Jaffre Joffer. And one of his cohorts says, who is that? He says (incredulously), "He's from Coming to America!" Me and Kyle look at each other like, word?? Lolol. Wow. We see why you're here. Then he says, "These seats are soooo small! I could get pregnant from these seats." Umm.. TMI maybe? Just a little. Lol. They were small but I might not need to know that about you! Lololol.

The show begins and I have chills for the entire first scene. I'm not kidding. This play is phenomenal. I think the main thing that you need to remember is that it is a play. Like the movie, it is BASED on the book, but not obligated to follow it to the letter. I thought the director, producers, orchestra, actors, costume and set designers all came together to make this an exceptional show. I recommend it to anyone, but it is an absolute must-see for Black people. The movie is a must see if you are Black. If you see no other Broadway plays in your life, you need to see "The Color Purple" and "A Raisin in the Sun." I have no qualms about saying that. We need to see ourselves on stage. The most interesting thing for me about the play was the flirting with burlesque. It was very interesting. The Shug Avery song was huh-larious!! And the church women, so typical. Very well done. Go see it today. There was a British man sitting next to Kyle who proceeded to give his dissertation of it. The show got a standing ovation and I saw many a wet eye.

After the show we head through Times Square (I'm in awe people, I LOVE it!!) and this lady stops me. She says, "Hi... I'm sorry to bother you but can you sign my play bill?" I'm standing there blinking. She says, "I know its cold." I was like, "Why?" She said, "Oh. Never mind then." And looks at me like this black bitch. I'm like, Lord have mercy. I say, "I wasn't in the play." She says, "Oh! I'm sorry. We saw you come out. And you look so much like her. You have the same round face." What?!! Everyone I was with falls out laughing. They were like you should've signed it. Ok... signed it what?? I didn't know who I was supposed to be!! Lolol. So for the rest of the night, I'm LaChanze (Celie) and Kyle starts yelling, "No Pictures Please!" everywhere we go. Negroes. He's like, "She followed you for 3 blocks!" Lololol.

Then we go to ESPN Zone. The Ok let me tell you something about the people that attended the show with me. Everyone but me works at ESPN. Lololol!! Come on! Y'all ALL work at ESPN and you want to go to ESPN Zone? Of course they're like, but I don't have to work here. Blah blah blah. Whatever. Its still comical. Have you been to ESPN Zone before? I tried to get my friends to go to the one in B-more w/me but none of them are sports fans so they were all like, ummm.. no. I was so diappointed. So I lost my ESPN Zone virginity in "old New York, New York, Neeew Yoooooooork." It was a sports fans dream!!!! TVs everywhere w/every game currently on television and your own personal table tv. But who wants to watch a personal TV when you have 2 huge flat screens in front of you??? Not me. Then Classy Jojo arrives-- one of my HU friends!!! I loooooooove Classy JoJo!!! I wanted to get her drunk and see Trashy Hoho!! That's my nigga too! She's hilarious! Then we go to the bar "Bourbon Street" and have a couple of beers and show the white people how to dance, including several classic Blue Thunder moves. Oh the hilarity!! Lolol.

My night in New York was fantabulous, the company was great and the show was a success. I can't wait to go back! Now was that so hard? Clearly I could've done this a long time ago. Lolol. Stop being ungrateful. There it is. Any questions?

Part I: Welcome to Hartford

I am honoring a request to conquer the blog beast that is my trip to Connecticut and New York in multiple parts. For now, I think it will be two.

All day at work I was squirming in my seat thinking, in ten hours, I'll be in Connecticut, in 8 hours I'll be in Connecticut, in 3 hours I'll be in Connecticut!! 10 a.m. couldn't get there soon enough. I got put on the assignment desk between producing the "Today Show" local news cut-ins. Of course I'm confused b/c I've never had to work the desk. The scanners are chattering away fielding no less than 10 different police/fire/EMS departments. I would be lying if I told you I understand the desk right now. So after filling in a little on the desk after 10, I quickly got outta there before I got roped into something else. Plane time!

I called Chinagirl to see where her and CC were taking me to dinner that night. She transcribed the conversation for email dissemination. Here it goes.

Ashli: Do you like Italian food?
Jameil: Ooo I love Italian food!
Ashli: Great we're going to Vinny T's.
Jameil: Oooo Vanecci's, that's sounds so classy and upscale.
Ashli: Uh Jameil, too bad I said Vinny T's.
Jameil: That sounds ghetto. Why would you take me to a ghetto restaurant?

Lolololol. How hilarious is that conversation?!! That's great. So that was while I was pulling into the airport parking lot. I got off the phone so I could lug my ridiculously heavy, overpacked suitcase, carry-on, and purse. Little did I know how far I would have to lug this mess or I might have ordered a coronary for the road. By the time I got to the ticket counter, my arms and shoulders were a jelloid mess. I'm shaking asking the lady at the counter for some help (with the e-check-in thing) and its then that I realize I haven't been on a plane since I went to Europe in 2000. Dang. 5 years. That's a long time not to ride a plane. So I wasn't used to this. Do you know the woman is like follow the directions on the screen? Ok, so what are you, the woman you're talking to, and the two people next to you here for? Because none of you are helping a customer. So I'm still looking at the screen shaking like a crackhead wondering when one of these bitches is going to talk to me instead of each other. After about 40 seconds, the woman standing on this side of the counter starts to walk me through it. Clearly b/c otherwise we would all be standing there looking at each other. I know a lot of other bloggers have brought it up, but damn its hard to find good customer service today. Then the crack-ish one (me) has to drag her luggage over to this strapping young man so he can put it through the screener thing. What??? When did they start this b.s.? What happened to the US Air ticket lady taking your ticket and your bags and you walking away to board your plane? Nonsense. If I could fly British Airways everywhere, I would. Their service is unparalleled. Pesky Americans.

Anyway. I get on the plane finally and someone is hacking out their left lung. Really. I look on the floor and there's this grayish thing down there. I get a little nervous. Ok maybe not but I started to think about all the possible ebola strains that could be trapped on that incestuous little plane. Should passenger planes be allowed to be that small? I'm thinking no. When we get off in CT, we are let off on the tarmac to walk several yards to the stairs leading up into the terminal. What happened to curbside service? With all that, why not just drop me off w/a parachute and let me wade through the snow to the airport? Is that next? Drive by airplanes? Will those tickets be cheaper b/c they don't even have to land? Just *ploop* you're there.

Welcome to Hartford. As soon as I walk into the airport my phone rings. Kyle! Yay!!! So I'm like, "Yes I'm walking off the plane right now." He says, "I'll be there in 20 minutes." What??? So I'm forced to wander through this little crap excuse for an airport to baggage claim, talk to my sister for like 5 minutes on the phone, and try to read my book. Finally, he's outside (the best friend). I'm soooooo excited!! We hug then leave. Its my first time in Connecticut. We start figuring out the plan for the day but first I have GOT to get my grub on so we stop at "D'Angelo's" for some subs. Then we head to his apartment. Great fun. We watched one of my all time favorite movies, "When Harry Met Sally," and had a grand time. Then his friend comes to cut the hair for tomorrow's trip to Broadway!!! Then we get dressed and head to Vinny T's to meet CC and Ashli. Lol. It was great! Just like old times at the real HU (stop your hatin). So I know you're wondering what all these black people and fellow Hampton alumni are doing in CT. Working! CC and Ashli are those corporate America people. Get it girls!! I'm so proud of all my friends! Puttin them expensive private school degrees to use in our fields. Amazing. I'll get to the b.f. later. So we're hanging out at Vanecci's and decide to get a pitcher of Sangria for old times sake. Please realize these were my fellow addicts at the good ole HU. Alcohol!! Whoo hoo! That's the worst thing about living in Pitt, I don't know anyone to drink w/other than my dad. Clearly I'm not complaining b/c he'll buy the beer and that's great. But sometimes I just want to drink it up with my girls. It was great fun.

After dinner, me and Kyle head to his job. Are you ready? At ESPN!!!! How great is that??!! Isn't that so cool?? We head up to "campus" as they call it for my tour. This place is ridiculously large. I can't decide what my favorite part is. Here are the highlights. The newsroom-- I see the sports center cubicle cluster (so cool), the back of Steve Levy's head, BJ Armstrong, watch part of NFL Live (or some NFL show) being recorded. Then we head around the building (there are multiple buildings connected and though Kyle told me when we were leaving one and entering another, it just all became a blur, so we'll just call it "the building"). I see the main control room. You know how people hear angels singing and see a golden light? That's what the control room was to me. Probably b/c I love control!!! And it was like a producer's wet dream. Fabulous. So much going on.

Then he takes me to a couple of secondary control rooms, past editing bays, then to the different sets, ending at the... SPORTSCENTER set!!!! O. MY. GAH! That is like 15xs cooler than it even looks on tv. And it looks pretty cool there. FAB. The cafeteria. Why do they have a cafeteria? Like a real one. With a chef, and just about every kind of food you would like including a sandwich/salad bar. WHAT???? I'm just sayin. Can I get all that at my job? Oh and there's a fitness center, too. Wow. Can I get the free workout on? One of the most impressive parts? The "DC," the digital center. Wow. Computers and huge flat screens everywhere. Mini 9" tv screens by computers where people can sit and watch and log games. ENORMOUS tvs on the walls, smaller tvs, a ticker w/constant game updates. A sports fan's wildest imaginings. Unnecessarily great. Tres wonderful with a great tour guide! Part II coming soon to a blog near you...

Fun with Snow! (Yeah right)

I was called in early (meaning 1am instead of 430) to help w/the snow coverage. Yes we got about 5 inches and I had to drive through it to get to work. A 35-minute drive took about an hour and 15 minutes. Probably because I really had no desire to drive faster than 30 or 35 on roads covered in about 3 inches of snow in some spots. Fun. Luckily I had Kyle on the phone to calm me down and talk me off the ledge b/c clearly I would've jumped. Especially after 4 deer frolicked next to the road when I was on this winding one-way back road next to a guardrail on a 30-foot drop. Yes I used my earpiece, but I wasn't on the phone when I saw the deer. Thanks. Kyle already asked me if I used my earpiece while I was on the phone w/him. I'm not that crazy. And oddly enough I listened to my Boyz II Men Christmas cd including the classic "Let It Snow." I did sing along, but I didn't mean it. The snow advisory has ended and moved on. Only flurries and high winds for the rest of the day. However, the temps are expected to fall.

It is allegedly 34 and feels like 26. But I tell you what. After days of 12 (yesterday) and 19, but feels like 0, 34 and feels like 26 is like summer to me! Oh no! I'm becoming a yankee!! Make it stop. I'm thinking about going to Florida for Christmas. I found a ticket to West Palm Beach for $204. Everyone here would be so jealous. You know that means I have to go. Stacey goes to the beach every year for Christmas and New Year's. I think she does it to taunt me. Jerk. Lol. Although I did say I wasn't going to visit her again until she came to visit me. We'll see. She'll have to read this to even know that I'm considering going down there to chill w/Mini-Me and the Ghanaian Goblin.

Anyway I have time to write to you because they brought me in early to help w/writing for no reason. There were two writers in at 1 (including me) and we finished writing by about 215. Clearly I was like umm... can I go sleep now? I got plenty of sleep last night but when the executive producer told me I had to stay through the noon today (getting off at 1245pm), I was immediately sleepy again. Anticipation, I tell you. Anyway we go on early at 430 today. You would think 6 inches of snow wouldn't be that big of a deal here. I don't know what the deal is. Stay tuned. I'll ask one of our weather people (that is if they're not running around like chickens with their heads cut off).

But wait. Why did someone (I'm not naming names) ask me if I was going to make a snow family, including a dog? Umm... no. He said why. I said because I'm not twelve. I used to love snow and was actually kind of excited about seeing this much of it. Howsomeever, I did not want to drive in that bull ish. I can't believe I live in a place where life goes on when it snows. I truly did not ever consider that I would ever be in that position. Seriously. Even when I considered the thought of living in a place where it would snow, I still didn't think about the fact that I would have to drive in it. Don't ask why and don't make fun. This was my second time driving in the snow. The first time was Sunday. Come on people I've never lived above VA. And VA was on the coast.

I know you want to know about my trip to Connecticut and how the Color Purple was, however, you will have to wait. I'm in the midst of a 9-day work week. Stay tuned (for real this time).

By the way, the temp just dropped one degree. It's already dropping. Dammit all to hell. I can deal w/snow but you can keep this cold crap.

Takin' One for the Team

That's the phrase we used to use in college (my crew) when one of us got some or got played hard, either one. Takin one for the team. Lol. I was gonna post that last, first, now list but I decided not to be lazy since I'll be in Connecticut soon and most likely won't post again until Thursday. Plus I've just seen it on toooo many blogs and you know I'm too vain to think I'm doing something everybody else is doing. However, I will get up on that horrible ass date joint. I, ha, HA! I have taken one for the team. Matter of fact since this is bout "its ma baby mama(yee'n't know?)" (a lil Three 6 Mafia for y'all), I'm gonna give you a two for one special.

So my first interaction with a dude from Pittsburgh left quite the bad taste in my mouth. I'm not really too interested in being down with anymore of them. Let's get right into it. So I meet this dude at a club. I know you're already groaning, but I really don't have issues with meeting someone in a club. First because, obviously I'm there so all people you meet in a club can't be bad, second because I'm not really in the club looking for a life partner, and third because I mean where the hell else am I supposed to meet someone? (although I am joining the Urban League Young Professionals of Pittsburgh so hopefully that will help!)

So, I'm in the club, right. Its an "other" club and shockingly enough, I actually have a pretty good time. The music is actually better than the "black" clubs that I've been to here. I've been told b/c all the good black clubs get shot up and eventually close. Wow. Makes me want to get out of the house. I tell ya. Anyway. I'm still scoping the crowd even though black men in these sort of clubs are notorious for not even dancing with a sista. I just want to see who's there. This dude catches my eye. A little pale for my taste, but hey I don't discriminate all the time. If you're cute, you're cute. So he spends the next HOUR catching my eye. Whoa dude. That's quite lame. I'm sayin, if you're catchin my eye that consistently, WHAT fresh hell is taking you so long to come say something? *first clue*

He finally comes over and starts dancing asking me the normal questions. Now I don't really like people trying to get to know me by yelling in my ear in the club. *second clue* I really don't like people who can't dance. *third clue* I'm from the south, and I like to go out in Baltimore and DC. What does that tell you? I want some booty music, and when it comes on, I need you to get down. Don't just stand there and expect me to shake it on you because you WILL get shown up. Don't go out like that. So then he asks if we can move off the dance floor to talk more. *third clue* If I'm feeling the music and all into it and you ask me to step off the floor, I'm annoyed. Especially because I don't get out all that much and I LOVE to dance. Go Charlotte, its ya birthday. That's funny. This dude at HU used to call me Charlotte and last night/this morning on the way to work (my first time driving in the snow-- Lord have mercy!!) I heard the Luke b-day song for possibly the first time in 5 months-- and on the "other" station. Ooh la la! "Is it Leo? NO! Is it Scorpio? NO! Go Virgo, its ya birthday, go Virgo its ya birthday." Owwww! Hotness!

Anyway back to the issue at hand. So old buddy asks for my number and hands over his phone. I look at his phone and see a little girl. *fourth clue* I don't do baby mamas and when I finish this story I'll tell you why. I said, who is that? He said my little girl. I said, "I don't do baby mama drama." He said, "It ain't no drama. I'm actually the crazy one. She broke up with me when... I'm not gon lie I was in jail for 9 months." *fifth clue* I'm not saying you can't have jail time, but I am saying you're not looking any better for that shit. And I'm also saying I then need to immediately hear about your life goals. That's anybody, but when you have all this shit stacked against you, you need to be real forthcoming with why I need to be paying you any attention. *sixth clue* If somebody tells you something about themselves, you should believe it. Read that sentence again. They mean it. They know themselves better than you. Despite ALL of that, I thought about my boredom and the fact that the only person my age I knew in Pitt was about to move, and gave him my number. I know.

So we play phone tag for a while because I really don't want to talk to him. I finally call him back and he's like, "Yeah... I'm stuck in the house..." I'm like why? He says, "Because I'm on house arrest." Come again??? I say for what (I met dude less than a week prior). He says, "Parole violation for something I ain't even do. I ain't smoked in years, but I was wit some people who were smoking in an unventilated (he probably didn't use that word) area and when I got tested they found weed." *seventh and final clue* That just looks stupid. Lol. Seven clues. It should not take all that. Ever. Reason it was the final clue? It goes back to choices and goals. If you are so irresponsible that you don't think about refraining from being around people who don't have your best interests in mind, and you also don't mind possibly going back to jail, AND you are not working toward your goals and by the way, what are those goals? ... ummm... yeah. You're not for me. Sorry bout your luck.

Now the person who FOREVER turned me against baby daddies. So I was talking to this dude. First problem. He didn't even tell me he had a daughter. I had talked to a guy with a daughter before, but he made sure to let me know he loved and supported his daughter, within one of the first conversations. I found out about this other dude's daughter b/c his boy told me thinking I already knew. Busted. If you're gonna have a kid, you better be supporting it. So one day I'm coming home from work and I get a call from the baby mama. Yes she did! She called my phone like, "Yeah me and Juan are getting back together and I just wanted to let you know." I was like, "Umm... ok whatever." So of course I promptly delete his number from my phone b/c regardless, you will never, EVER have some bitch callin my phone. Yeah she gotta be a bitch for being that bold. So a WEEK later he calls me like nothing happened. Come to find out he knew she was gonna call. Then he tells me that she was lyin and she said that to come between us and it's working. I said, hell yeah its working! You KNEW she was calling and you let her and didn't bother to say anything! Then he proceeds to tell me that she came to him with my name so I had been talkin about him and one of my girls must have been running her mouth. Whoa. Please get off your own ish. You are not that fly. I had to get Norfolk St.-FAMU on him (lololol). I was like, "Nigga I don't even know your last name!" Ugh. Get that outta here!! Needless to say, that was the last for his ass. And I'm out.

Nigga Commercials

See look what I did. I done already pissed off my momma and all she did was read the commercial. But guess what? That is the most accurate way to describe these commercials. Because I'm in tv and have to sit through all of them, I see an inordinate amount of commercials. Probably the only person who sees more is someone in advertising. Now I can't say that I watch all of them, but some catch my eye or ear.

I don't want to EVER see another one of those rapping groundhogs for the Pennsylvania lottery. Hold up, I gotta go get all my current reading material, which I must credit for assisting me in coming to more organized and concise conclusions. Ok I'm back. I have finished reading Blood Done Sign My Name by Timothy Tyson. Excellent book.

I am currently reading four books. The Envy of the World: On Being a Black Man in America by Ellis Cose. It talks about how Black men have to face the conundrum of only being seen as sexual (not always a bad thing, according to him), entertainers, or athletes. Are We Not Men: Maculine Anxiety and the Problem of African-American Identity by Phillip Brian Harper which pretty much addresses the same thing.

The Good Black: A True Story of Race in America by Paul M. Barrett attacks the issue of being seen as "not like them." This is one of my personal pet peeves. I have an interesting background as I've come to realize. On my mother's side, land has been passed down through the family from as far back as my great-grandfather. My grandmother was in the first generation in my family to graduate from college. On my father's side, my great-grandmother owned land and a corner store, so land has been passed down on that side, as well. I am in at least the 2nd generation to attend college. I also grew up in a middle-class, two-parent home. I went on a tour of Europe before my first year at Hampton. People (Black and white) like to view me as an anomaly. But not at Hampton, because many people have Our Kind of People type of stories that make mine pale in comparison- third generation doctors and attorneys, upper class upbringing, all that and more. When other Black people view me as an anomaly, I laugh it off. But when white people do it, it really pisses me off. And you know why. Because its jacked up that you think that there are no Black people that can achieve that. We know Black people don't necessarily believe Black people can achieve those types of things, either. However, with Black people it makes me sad how far we've come, but how far we still have to go.

I was asked by a white person if my family were sharecroppers. He then said, they were probably sharecroppers. No you asshole, because in case you didn't know (which is shocking since you act like you know everything), sharecroppers don't own the land. It is amazing the boldness and audacity of people. Don't come at me like that. There's nothing wrong with having to sharecrop, however there is something inherently wrong in you assuming that there were no exceptions to the rule. I should recommend Our Kind of People to him altho that book irritates me for upholding the idea of the Black elite who tries so hard to emulate the white elite.

The Black elite, as another blogger mentioned, probably shouldn't even exist. How can you help people when you look down on them? People should only know of your life of excess as an example of the things that Black people can achieve outside of drugs, sports and music. Two of my closest friends teach children who do not believe they could ever go to college. That is one of the saddest things I heard in 2005. Erin said her New Year's Resolution is to make a difference again (paraphrased). I'm joining that. I refuse to leave Pittsburgh (cross your fingers, less than a year) without changing it. My mother told me when I went to her alma mater, don't leave without making a difference. I want to believe I did. And that is how I want to go through life.

It's the Little Things: The Everyday Interaction that Get under the Skin of Blacks and Whites by Lena Williams. Shut up. My mom used to make fun of me for reading multiple books at one time. Its a lot easier, though when they all address the same basic topic. This one is not the best necessarily, but the easiest read. Some of it is a little trite. But most of it, nearly every Black person in America that interacts with whites (minimally or a lot) can relate. Which makes it quite hilarious at times. The part that irritates that I completely cosigned on was "articulate." As in "you're so articulate." There was a meeting here the other night for parents to express their displeasure w/the school closing plan. A Black parent got up there and politely ripped them a new one. It was hot. But then "he's so articulate" had to come out of the mouth of one of my co-workers. I had to get an attitude. Why wouldn't he be articulate? He's a parent who had to REGISTER to speak. If you are going to sign up to speak, you better come with the fire.

So back to these commercials. The rapping, singing, dancing, pimping, signifying, "giiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl" in every single commercial- Burger King, McDonald's, Coke. This commercial on RIGHT NOW for Fast Access DSL says "ooh girl we bout to get our groove on!" and they do the cabbage patch. DAMN! Same commercial break, for Rent Way has "We are a Family" in the background and lots of people dancing around all excited about overpaying to rent things you should own. I really didn't expect all this material while I was writing. Granted it was a BET commercial break, so you know nigga commercials will abound, which means BET needs then speak up and say every commercial you put on our airways will not show irresponsible black people. You need to show Black people doing normal things. Those damn Jamster commercials. My "favorite?" Money Mike with pimp and hoe in every one. Great. I mean I know actors are always broke and hard up for money, but damn. Have some standard. So why aren't there any commercials STILL on tv where black people are doing anything other than "acting black." We have financial planners, buy clothes, eat food other than McDonald's (what??? shocking!), etc, etc. I know this must be hard to believe considering you don't see it on tv. Ooh! Let me tell you about my trip to Subway the other day. So I asked my sandwich artist (by the way, I'm real psycho about my food and like it to look pretty- I always take the bun or bread off of my burger or sandwich and rearrange stuff) for a ham sub on honey wheat bread with pickles (shut up), lettuce, mayo, mustard, monterrey jack cheese, and... baby spinach leaves. First let me just say my sandwich artist was truly an artist. That was one of the most beautiful sandwiches I've ever seen in my LIFE!! I'm all over it. I just want to give her props for that gorgeous sandwich. I need a comment card. I told her, but I want the world to know about that beautiful sandwich. Anyway. So if you looked at the screen like it just sprouted a hand off of that last ingredient on my sandwich, you're not alone. There were two other people in there (white) and they both looked at me like I asked for lead shavings. I'm saying. Black people don't eat spinach? WTF? That's why we need some common sense commercials and programming on tv. So people don't look at me like I'm crazy when I'm being me. Oh yeah and about a month ago I went to Panera Bread and ordered a sandwich (yes I'm a sandwich groupie) on rosemary onion foccacia bread. Ok let me just tell you that foccacia in any form is my FAVORITE. So one of the girls I was with said, what kind of bread is that? I told her and she gave me another one of those looks like WHAT?! And I know some of the people we were with were like, this bitch even eats siddity food. Whatever. Hate me all the way to the top. I love it.

But I digress. Basically, I just want to know this about nigger commercials. Wouldn't it just be simpler to put people in blackface?