11.16.2005

Too Much T.V.

The first part of this I want to dedicate to my b.f.f. (best friend forever). I was watchin one of my favorite shows the other day, "Made," and this girl Alyssa said her friend Matt is "like my freakin diary that talks back." How cute is that? That's my friend Kyle. Thanks Kyle! :)

So last night I'm watching "In Living Color." It was hilarious of course. Ya girl J-Lo was on there. So I got to wondering. She's probably not the most impressive Flyy Girl ever, but she's certainly the most successful. How did she get from Flyy Girl to Fashionista/million-dollar actress/mediocre singer/designer/perfume pusher? Glow is off the chain. (Paris Hilton's "fragrance" smells like ass- eau de toilette, no eau de w.c. (true term for bathroom water)). Anyway. How jealous do you think her fellow fly girls are? And do you think anyone believes them when they say "I used to work w/J-Lo." Do you think they're friends?

Think Pink, y'all. On ESPN the other day, there was a story about the Iowa locker room. Its pink. With green lockers. How hilarious is that? I was dyin! Then all these people get up there and talk about how that's anti-women because they're implying that women are weak. That was from the women. Then a representative of a gay/lesbian org gets up there and says that's offensive b/c the worst thing you can call an athlete is a sissy and that's what pink represents. Holy shit people. You have violence against women, female genital mutilation, gay marriage, wrongful death on multiple levels to both groups. Need I go on? And you're pissed about a pink locker room. Please pick your fights. Just like Black people. Do you know what the athletes and coaches from other teams said? Things like: Its funny; Good move trying to psyche out the opponent; Its a distraction tactic and it obviously works b/c we're talking about it. Basically... nobody else cares!

AHHHHHHHH! This Sprint commercial where the two white dudes downloaded DMX "Where the Hood At" (almost offensive), then they remix it to sound like "Kamma, kamma, kamma, kamma, kamma, chameleooooooon." Hahahahaha. Hilarious.

So my girl Stacey von Kutieboots (don't ask) asked me to post about this:

"Jameil, when am igoing to stop messing with these 160lb and below niggas?!?! If you are not AT LEAST 5'9", you need a sign on your forehead that says, "Stacey, stay away from me, I will not know how to act b/c NapoleonBonaparte is my great-great-great grand-uncle and I inherited his complex."

Lololololol. Basically if you are skinny, fat, short or otherwise something that is not portrayed as sexy on television on a daily basis, SHUT UP! The least sexy man is the one that does not think he's sexy. I'm saying, work with what you've got. Come on. What dude wants to continually say to a girl, "No you don't look fat... yes I'm sure... no... really... you don't look fat...you look beautiful... really... no really... SHUT UP YOU DON'T LOOK FAT!!" Nobody. So I don't want your attitude because you're small.

While I'm on the subject, let's go ahead and talk about pretty boys, because the dude she's talking about also has this affliction. I don't want a dude that spends more time in the mirror than I do. This dude Damone Roberts on the show "10 Years Younger" DEFINITELY spends more time in the mirror. Granted, he's gay, but are pretty boys that far? This man is damn near beautiful, his face anyway. But it should be b/c he's a make-up artist. Speaking of which, there's a phenomenal make-up artist in Charlotte named Patrick. Oh my damn! He is off the chain. He does drag, too. Damn I wish I could remember his drag name. Its a mix of two supermodel names. Beverly Iman!! Love it! Patrick's the greatest. Anyway, I obviously don't want you to go out of the house half-steppin, but that's a far cry from bein a pretty boy. I'm sorry for wanting my man to look like one- a man that is.

Oh yeah and this dude had issues w/my previous post "Get on my Level." I'm just sayin tho, if you need help understanding how you should look when you leave the house, go to Hampton. Just for a big weekend or party. I'm talkin a cabaret or homecoming party. Can I just give props to all the dudes that went all out for soiree???? DAMN! Made me proud to be a black woman so I could call you my own. Thank you!! This is how you're supposed to leave the house! Special shout-out to Texas! Whooo- Timon and Pumba and Chris... NICE! Lovin it.

Okay y'all are distractin me. I'm tryin to watch America's Next Top Model. And Made's coming on tonight. I think. I love Bree! Go Bree!

10 comments:

*Madosi said...

YOU ARE HILARIOUS ... just random, one long ass thought that never ends!

LOL!

*Madosi said...

your randomness is what i love ...

the difference is that my randomness is obvious ... i seperate them, some of yours are the result of one thought that leads to another thought ... which i adore ...

T Dot said...

Can I just say that I concur wholeheartedly?!? Pittsburgh sounds like my hometown of Flint. Whenever I go home, cats are like, "lets go to the Droppers, lets go to JBs," - in other words, "lets go to some hood club so that you can be hit on by cats with no job and no goals, have weed smoke blown in your face and have your eyes assaulted by all the T&A hanging out of everyone's clothes. Not my idea of fun. I need some grown and sexy in my life - not triflin' and hoodish.

Duck said...

Co-signing with Talia... yes, Pittsburgh's definitely like that. Take it from a native. You gotta love it though.

You're hilarious girl! Mind if I ask where you work? Pittsburgh's where I got my start as a intern/producer, so I know a bunch of broadcast heads down there.

Duck said...

*GASP!* No way! So you gotta know the director Calvin.

Duck said...

Yeah, he is. That's my unrelated uncle. (You know how your parents become close friends with people and they become "aunts and uncles"? Yeah.)

So now you're listed under my favorites list. And now I have to actually do work. :-)

Clay said...

yeah that sprint commercial was borderline offensive to me - i thought i was the only one who thought that!

T Dot said...

Okay, I just saw the Sprint commercial - how is it offensive? I'm lost...

jameil1922 said...

Because why are two suburban white boys talkin about where the hood at? Its just annoying to me how the misfortune of black people is constantly played as a joke or some other form of entertainment. Call me sensitive but there is some irritating ish on t.v. Its just a combo of all the things that irritate me. I do chuckle when I see it b/c its kinda stupid/funny. But them people (those in positions of power that don't bother to ask anyone how stuff might be perceived) just irk me sometimes.

T Dot said...

Never thought about it like that. Good point.