Movies 2012: Weeks 12-14

Week 12: March 18-24, 2012
48) The Lie. A man tells a HORRENDOUS lie to get out of going to work and things just SPIRAL as a result. An already unlikeable man becomes reprehensible. The tale of annoying hipsters. Not to mention the pace of this movie is sloooooow. AND I hated the end. Just terrible. 2 stars
49) Submarine. 15-year-old Welsh boy Oliver Tate wants to be with the girl of his dream and save his parents' marriage but can he do both? He's sure gonna try! I was thoroughly amused by this quirky coming-of-age film. 3.9 stars
50) Chaos Theory. Ryan Reynolds stars as a strictly regimented man who blames his wife setting the clock 10-minutes fast on his whole life spiraling out of control. Rather amusing film throughout ruined by a poor, non-sequitur ending. You really don't even need the conceit proposed in the beginning. There's no reason for this to be a tale told from the present about the past. 2.9 stars

Week 13: March 25-31, 2012
51) Carnage. Roman Polanski adapts a play about parents who meet when their children get into a fight. What begins as a stilted affair full of forced pleasantries quickly begins to devolve in a series of awkward and passive aggressive ways. Excruciating to watch. I wouldn't want to live through it let alone watch it happen to fictional strangers. And at the end it just stops. Why? 2 stars
52) Martha Marcy May Marlene. An indie film about a woman who joins a cult and is brainwashed into believing she was in a loving relationship. When she calls her sister to rescue her, the woman can't remember what's real and what's not. Pretty crazy. Quite good. 4 stars
53) Mrs. Henderson Presents. A rich widow (Dame Judi Dench) shocks Britain when she buys a decrepit theater and opens a nude revue. Harmless film. Would not have been worth watching without Dench. And still... eh. 3 stars
54) Chasing Papi. Silly silly SILLY movie about three women who get caught up in a sting right as they find out they share a boyfriend. I giggled throughout at the horribleness. So mostly unintentionally funny. Sofia Vergara stars. 3.3 stars

Week 14: April 1-6, 2012
55) Miss Bala. Mexican film about a pageant contestant who unknowingly becomes a drug war pawn when she witnesses a nightclub massacre. Painfully slow film. Lots of emotionless stares from the lead. At the end, the film just stopped. ? 2.5 stars
56) How Do You Know. Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson & Paul Rudd are the points of a love triangle about a woman who has to decide what she wants while her professional life is in turmoil. Too long at nearly two hours and missing some of the practicality you might desire if you were silly enough to expect that from a movie whose outcome is obvious from the outset but cute enough. 3.3 stars
57) Sabrina. The Harrison Ford-starred remake of the Audrey Hepburn classic about a chauffeur's daughter who goes to Paris, comes back and entrances the sons of the rich family she grew up with. Fine. A little too long. I could see this being on free television when I was a kid. 2.9 stars
58) Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton. Terrible "documentary" about Marc Jacobs' connections with the famous French company. Flippant, annoying narration I'm sure was meant to evoke a whimsical air representative of the subject. It was incredibly annoying. It was supposed to be a behind-the-scenes look but the director squanders what he tells us repeatedly is exclusive access by rarely using any meaningful commentary or interviews from Jacobs himself! But most annoying was the unstructured nature of the film. You could drop in at any point and not have missed anything. Halfway through did I know anything new about Jacobs? No. There were also moments where people were completely unintelligible whether due to accents or interviewing in rave-type atmospheres. This could've been a 15 minute segment of a television show. 1.4 stars
59) Being Elmo. A wonderful documentary about the puppeteer behind Elmo. What a great guy. My only qualms surrounded the narration by Whoopi Goldberg. She's so recognizable that it was a distraction. It got worse when she was an on-camera interviewee. Very strange. The parts without narration were really stronger. The second half of the film was amazing. 3.9 stars

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