1) I don't watch Iron Chef America if I don't like the secret ingredient. Chocolate? Pass. My feelings would be so hurt if I finally got to judge and that was the ingredient. Battle milk and cream? I was in it from the beginning!!
2) There is nothing worse than a self-righteous vegetarian. Do you know when I said I couldn't be vegan, this dude told me to expand my "pallet"? WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO!?! You clearly don't know me like that to say such foolishness!! First of all it's PALATE. Second, everything in moderation. Third, don't try to convince me to do something YOU'RE not even doing. You sound ridiculous. If I'm ANYTHING, I'm an adventurous eater. Challenge me on many things (you'll lose) but don't challenge me on my palate. Ever.
3) I'm equally bad about people who don't know me asking what I know about cooking in a mocking or derisive tone. Fall back.
4) Y'all see I'm on edge and people KEEP testing my gangsta!! I'm so not hard.
4) I PROMISE the worst tweets are about relationships. I mean extra basic stuff. Like "she can't love you if she doesn't love herself." *enter monotone* Wow. I've never heard that before. That is groundbreaking.
5) I managed to keep stress pimples at bay for weeks. WOW!! Just one but clearly I feel like this is a huge accomplishment!
6) Have I mentioned that I haven't gotten my 8 hours of sleep in at least a week? I AM NOT A MOM!! INTENTIONALLY!!! GIMME MY SLEEP!!!
7) Did anybody see Parks and Rec? I'm in shock! But "30 Rock" is BORING. What's happened?
8) I have an urge to complain about something I don't want anyone to sell me platitudes about. I don't trust any of you people to say what you're supposed to. Instead, respond to this with something really, really jerky.
9) I finished one of three short films due by Thursday. Sunday, Monday, Thursday. #faints*
10) Another softball game tonight. The team captain is working my nerves. So guess what? I hope we lose. I'm not gonna do anything to make it happen but I just wouldn't be in the least bit sad if we did.
11) One of my closest friends from elementary school to college got married Saturday to a girl we've also known since elementary school. Collective awwww! :)
12) I've wanted oysters for what feels like an eternity. GIMMEEEEEEEE!!!
13) I want a Sprite... or an orange soda... or a peach soda... or a Fresca. What is wrong with me? I never crave soda. If someone says I'm pregnant I'm not blogging for a week.