8.07.2006

Nip/Tuck

No, not sp's favorite show. The actual procedures. Why doesn't anyone want to be old anymore? I really don't get it. Now I have an inkling it may have something to do with the fact that people are well aware that sun causes spots, wrinkles, unsightly bags, freckles, moles, cancer... To quote Gnarls Barkley, "And I could go on, and on, and onnnnnnnnnn, but who cares?" They obviously don't. The people who give themselves these skin nightmares I mean. Maybe, no I'm sure I don't get it because I'm melanin blessed. I mean I see the pale Nicole Kidman skin. I can understand why you wouldn't want to look ghostly white, give Casper a run for his money. I do not however understand why you would run for the sun or the tanning booth for the rest of your life knowing your fate.

Now we know black don't crack. My favorite? Essence magazine once a year does the black don't crack article. That's not what they call it of course, but its all these black women who look 35 and are 98. Or look 12 and are 38. That's what I'm talking about. That's who I wanna be. Plastic surgery is up 444% in the U.S. since 1997. 444%. Wth? That's ridiculous. Everyone wants instant gratification. This will sound foolish. But I wouldn't mind losing 7 lbs. I don't hate those 7 lbs. If I don't lose them I won't die and I won't be heartbroken, but it would be cool. Do I want to do the work for it? Not particularly. Am I obsessed with the 7 lbs? Nope.

And I know what you're thinking. She bought that mini-skirt, put it on and thought she was fat. She listened to the girl who said she had thunder thighs. Nope! Lol Though your responses to that were quite hilarious. I'm just not one of those people who thinks she should wear something unflattering just because its cute or trendy. Plus I'm not some shapeless 12 lb. child.

We've all seen the tv shows with the people who are already 5'10" 112 lbs. and think they need to lose some weight. I was watching Celebrity Fit Club 4 last night. These people are crazy. Why on earth would anyone want to be a celebrity? I mean I know the money and the fame. But they have some serious issues. Some of them are a size 8 or 10 feeling fat because they're surrounded by youth and perfection. Why would you want to put yourself through that?

People used to think body image issues didn't effect black people. Wrong. We're not immune to it when surrounded by other people who have the same issues. Botox is the most psycho thing in the world to me. Um... foreheads are SUPPOSED to have lines. It is not normal to inject a CHEMICAL into your FACE to PARALYZE it. WHAT?!!! Bizarre. Surgery-free face-lifts and such. Odd. Just saw a close-up of Paula Abdul's face. Definitely botoxed the forehead. PEOPLE!! We grow old! Its called life. Be glad you still have one. That is all.

20 comments:

spchrist said...

Well...I'm a little sorry I didn't become a plastic surgeon...so I can live the life of McNamara/Troy.

Society is very vain. We all want to look good and if we have the loot...we spend it to make sure we look good...even well into our 50s and 60s.

Jarrod said...

First I gotta admit that I pine after the older women you mentioned in that one issue of Essence. But I think plastic surgery has its place in society. If you feel you aren't up to the standards society has placed on you, and you have the financial means to change yourself I say go for it. But if you're all about loving yourself despite the unsightly blemishes than that's what's up too. But at the end of the day people more often listen to the herd than the shepherd.

Ladynay said...

Most folks want to live a long life, they just don't want to look like it!

It's crazy the things we will do to always look 18!

Jonzee said...

I love nip/tuck...its like at train wreck you can't look away from.

But I digress...I personally am all about growing old gracefully--I am not going to mind going from red afro to gray.

Alas, all of us are bombarded with the "look better,feel better, drive a nicer car." But at some point, even as we pursue these cosmetic and materialistic goods, we have to learn to work what we got...some might be surprise where it gets them.

Dreamlover said...

I'm scared of needles and pain, so I could never go in for plastic surgery.

However, I wouldn't say no to a pill that allowed me to magically drop 10 lbs in say a week, hahaha

jameil1922 said...

sp... have you seen the doctors' houses on dr. 90210?? crazy. i understand looking good but trying to look 25 when you're 60 is just sad.

jarrod... ya nasty! lmao!!

lady... yeah i can't wait to see what the next thing is. they'll be selling amniotic fluid. i bet people will buy it too.

jonz... work it! i need a glass a watah. boy oh boy its good ta know ya. if its worth it let me work it... sorry. i get carried away...

dream... hahahahaha. *insert anna nicole drunken stupor voice and fake sexy look* trimspa baby!

Don't Oppress Me said...

My mother told me if you don’t get old you die. I thought that was profound.

But the irony is when you are 18, you wanna look 21. Two years.
Two damn years.

4EverJennayNay said...

if i had anything vain done i'd get rid of the facial hair. it's not too bad and im not birtha the hair lady, but if i dont ever have to wax again then i think its worth it.

i already know that when i get older i'm having a boob job. And I don't mean inflated. I'll have them lifted and might even size 'em down. When your in your 20s carrying around 3ds its okay. But when you hit 60 and your nipples are threatening to play tag with your navel... ummm no.

the joy said...

i used to wanna get a nose job. but then i realized i'd go all jennifer grey and look totally different. and my nose isnt so bad. my bf and i both have wierd noses.

now i just keep coloring my hair. more economical and i can always go back. i've learned to love my body.

most plastic surgery is something you didnt mention- boobs. i'm so glad i'm naturally busty.

Karamale said...

great post.

i will say, though, that here in colombia, plastic surgery that costs you $20,000 in the us only goes for $4,000. and i'm not talking about a crap job, either. i mean, these are the people who invented lasik.

Epsilonicus said...

I would get plastic surgery for two reasons: If I got hurt/seriously injured. Or if I get older and I can't lose extra weight. If no matter how hard I tried I couldnt lose the weight, I would do lipo. I would do it because I know the extra pounds can ruin a lot like your heart health, a man's sexual performance, and a lot of other things.

CNEL said...

My maternal granddad just turned 78 on Saturday. And I know I got his genes cause I have his head. I call it "The Nelson Head". Really it's like my Granddad, his brothers, and then me. The family calls it "The Knowledge Head".

I don't need plastic surgery. Sure I could drop a couple pounds, sure I want to be more toned, and defined. I think I'm going to pass on the hopsital though. No needles para me.

I also have maternal great aunts who are between the ages of 90-92, and they still kicking it. I might need to get a house in South Carolina to do it like they do, but hey when I make it I can have a vacation home. I can see myself escaping the craziness of our industry and go sit on a porch in the shade, drink some lemonade, and read a good book or write my own.

Stacie von Kutieboots said...

Dreezy and I used to watch Nip/Tuck religiously...it's such a reality J. Tavis on the TJMS talked abt the black procedure rate going up 67% in the last couple of years which saddens me b/c of that Essence issue that's better than any InStyle's "Look Good at any Age!" Naw....betchu can't do it like me!

jameil1922 said...

oppressed... i like that. my mom never gets mad when people ask her age b/c she's proud to be there. love it.

jenn... lmao @ the hair!! try nads. it tastes good, too. lolol. if i had those, i would get the lift, too.

joy... black people w/nose jobs always look strange to me. and not just the extreme jacksons and lil kim.

i wasn't as ahem blessed but i've seen boob jobs on tv. oh HELLllllllll NO!! they cut off your nipple to put a plastic bag inside your breast. nope. not the kid. not for some vanity ish. maybe if i had breast cancer and i wanted some breasts again.

kara.. i saw that on the today show. same w/mexican dentists. the old white people flock down there. state of the art stuff for 1/4 the price.

epsi... have you SEEN a lipo? they shove an ENORMOUS needle inside the affected area and shove and shove and shove and shove and shove until they get out the desired amt. then you can't walk for weeks. pass. diet and exercise. thanks.

cnel... my great-grandfather was 95 when he died. i'm gonna be old and sexy.

stace... NOPE! it is sad. people in my family feel fat. i'm like girl you're in better shape than ME even though you weigh 35 lbs more. if you are healthy, don't worry abt not being a size 4. that's bs.

Rell said...

I can't wait to be old and have that "old-man strength" and nice flowing gray/white hair.

I'mma be hype for that...

X Factor said...

I hate to say it, but I'm gonna have to disagree on this one. I am all for growing old gracefully, but some of us just need a little extra help. Of course, some people have taken the plastic surgery trend a little bit too far (seen Terri Hatcher lately?), but as a person who has gone under the knife once herself, I have to say that I didn't do it to fit into society's expectations of beauty. I did it because I couldn't fit into my jeans anymore - and not the ones that I wore in high school - the ones that were the largest size I had ever been. I think plastic surgery has its place....

G. Cornelius Harris said...

I 2nd rellon that one...I'll keep you posted

KHALLI 88 said...

I think it's nuts to try and beat back farther time, have a friend 54 she just got tummy tuck and lips to the tune of 11 grand? WTF u are old just grow gracefully :)

DP said...

all i ask as i speed into old age, is that all my parts continue to work. Especially my head(s)

jameil1922 said...

rell and g... how bout black men are so fly the older they get. denzel now... way better. same w/will smith. can't wait til they go grey! i don't do old men but lester holt on weekend today.... hola! and also ted from the love boat. soon as he loses those lbs. on celeb fit club, call me! lolol

x.. ooh la la! i love dissenters. do you. but i don't think what you did had anything to do w/growing old gracefully. i could be wrong. but you're kinda young for that kind of procedure. and who knows. 30 years from now you may see me standing in line for something.

khalli.. lips?!! wth. i can always tell collagen injections. how abt at work i'm the resident plastic surgery chooser. i can tell botox and collagen in the lips from a mile away. its hilarious.

dp... well i hope for FW's sake that holds true... *rolling my eyes* men.