Would you like a mite of crack in your tea?

i SWEAR!! the damn drunks. ok so when there's a random story that breaks overnight or needs some kind of community reaction (not gas related) i.e. the lawmakers giving themselves a 16 to 34 percent raise, then repealing it or powerball, they sent out the overnight reporter to carson street to question anyone walking on the street. 9 times out of 10, these people are so OBVIOUSLY DRUNK, we can't use the interview. now of course its the executive producer's decision not to use these people, not mine. because if you are stupid enough to put your face in front of a microphone and a camera at 3 am when you've played beer pong for the last 7 hours and attempt to wax poetically about the powerball, then i am gonna let you. and for the amusement of the entire pittsburgh viewing area!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha. dumb ass.

now this morning, i was the poor unfortunate soul who got saddled with the task of picking thru the closed-eyed drunkards (yes the eyes were closed all 5 minutes of the interview!!), the ones who slur and giggle, to get to keisha. can i just thank humanity critic, a hilarious blogger i stumbled upon, for reminding me of this. if you read that post you'll understand why this came to mind. KEISHA WAS A MAN. a black man around 46/47 with a dusky blond wavy weave and big eyes and estrogen pill breasts and a jean catsuit unzipped to right about here (just under said estrogen pill breasts) and waaaay too much cake foundation in the wrong shade and a gold herringbone chain (they still make those???). i'm like marshall! (fake name of reporter) did you not know that was a man in drag or not care?? lolol i will show it to the weekend morning producer so we can have a good laugh on saturday. lololol. be a queen all you want, but do me a favor, go to mac and get some good shit so i have to WONDER!! some of these people i SWEAR have to like smoke crack or something!!! so i ask, *insert british accent* "would you like a mite of crack in your tea?" and then they reply, "chip chip cheerio good chap, i do believe i WOULD like a mite of crack in my tea! would you perchance have anything other than the house crack?"

speaking of british. louise rennison is like my fave author b/c she's british and CRACKS ME UP!! now my former librarian in college used to keep me in books. she bought books like others buy underwear (all the vickie's obsessors raise your hands). 2-3 new books a week or something like that. something crazy. so when she'd finish, she'd pass them to me. somehow, don't ask how, she stumbled upon carolyn mackler's georgia series. its about this hilarious ass 13 y.o. british girl. titles to follow (with translations in parentheses). dancing in my nuddy pants (dancing nude), angus, thongs, and full frontal snogging (her cat, thongs, making out like a banshee), on the bright side, i'm the girlfriend of a sex god (self explanatory) and of course, knocked out by my nunga nungas (those are breasts). oh the hilarity!!!!! i can't even do these books justice right here and i know you're all looking at this page like what the f... is she talking about (trailing off, clicking the next button) but its funny! hahaha. but the point is. the british are just crackishly hilarious to me. click on the dancing in my nuddy pants link. worth a good laugh!