A "3 Days to Open" Review... Of Sorts

It's no secret that I'm quite addicted to food television. I like competitions [Iron Chef, Top Chef, Top Chef Masters, Around the World in 80 Plates (this one could have been better), Next Food Network Star, Next Iron Chef, Throwdown]. I like narrative stories (Fat Chef). I like makeovers & takeovers (more on that in a minute). I like travel shows (Diners, Drive-ins & Dives; Man vs. Food; Heat Seekers). It's pretty nuts. The thing that keeps my addiction in check is that I can't watch any of them on an empty stomach or I will eat us out of house and home.

Shockingly, though this addiction started with cooking shows (Rachael Ray, Giada De Laurentiis, Tyler's Ultimate, Boy Meets Grill, Barefoot Contessa), I don't actually watch many of them anymore. I don't have the patience to sit through the half hour when I could just get the recipe and make it myself. They share good tips on the show that you won't get with the recipe but ehhh... it hasn't been worth it to me lately.

So my latest obsession is "3 Days to Open." I've come to the conclusion that every consecutive Bobby Flay endeavor will only serve to make me like him more. How awesome is he!?!? Very! The premise of this show is a struggling restaurant is opening in three days but is a complete and utter mess. He comes in to tell them all of the things they're doing that will lead to certain failure, then show them how to fix them. Pretty awesome. You can see how generous he is. These restaurants have many many things in common. Some of these things are so basic that the fact that they've missed them makes you think these people have probably never cooked for someone before, let alone eaten in a restaurant. It's so baffling that Mrs. Count (tumbleweed over there...) and I had a lengthy twitter conversation about how it would go if we had 3 Days to Open. It started with a basic, nay, obvious (?) statement and devolved from there. LOL

Mrs. C: Let me get this straight, your restaurant opens in 3 days and you haven't tested the menu yet? What exactly have you been doing?
Logic will get you NOWHERE! IF they have a menu, sometimes they don't have recipes or don't know how to cook, or have a chef, or...

Mrs. C: I think I'll open a nacho stand. In the mall. Next Friday. I'll start planning tomorrow.
Jameil: Okay... but don't research which mall until Tuesday. Forget to arrange care for [your one-year-old son] Judah, too.
These people always forget or completely ignore some basic details. Procrastination is awesome!

Mrs. C: And I'll get my parents to empty their retirement to fund my dreams! This is such a great plan!
Jameil: LOL! Don't forget to make your sister do all the work for free, without thanks.
There is a heavy reliance on other people. Of COURSE you need help from your family/friends but they are often asking way, WAY too much. There's also always at least one person working at the restaurant (usually for free) who has no idea what his/her role is. These poor people wander around wringing their hands and worrying over your poor planning. Select this person as the one you treat the worst. They can take it. After all, you're probably related! Family has to love you even when you show your entire backside, don't they? At the very least, you have carnal knowledge of the other person and that can usually get you pretty far in any business, yes? Yes? Someone say yes. It must be true because I've seen it on tv!

Jameil: Before I sanction this, I need to make sure you're not working with anyone with any restaurant experience. Not so much as McD's.
Mrs. C: Not at all. My 10-year-old niece wants to be a chef. Can I get her to help me after school?
They never have restaurant experience and sometimes "hire" (remember to use this word loosely!) a bunch of other people who don't have restaurant experience.

Jameil: Yes! Make sure you mention this as part of your business plan!
Mrs. C: Business plan? I don't know what you mean.
Jameil: It's that napkin you wrote your restaurant ideas down on last night.
Mrs. C: Oh, I had to use that to wipe Judah's hands. I think I remember most of it anyway.
Jameil: No big deal. No one reads them anyway. Especially with your parents' money!
Unlike housing, it must still be really easy to get business loans. There is often little evidence that anyone has ever even heard of a business plan, let alone had to create one.

You would think knowing this formula, the show would be less interesting. IT NEVER IS. I have loved every episode for the crazy of the "restauranteurs" and the awesome of Bobby. And can you believe it? I still want most of them to succeed.

Monday Mindspacing Vol. 104

1) You guys, I LOVE the outpouring of support y'all gave us!  It's so sweet!  Rashan, however, does not love you.  He was going to give me $3 to tell y'all on Friday that we broke up and we're not getting married.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!??!  I might have considered it... But I love y'all more than that!
2) I sent a request for well wishes to our Prez and I'm hoping he sends us a nice letter!  I will be SO excited!  It'll be framed with our wedding photos! :)  BUT when I did that, Rashan said, "You're just like my grandma."  .... Just what every bride wants to hear.

3) Speaking of brides... I want one of those bride tank tops that just has bride bedazzled across the chest.  Ooh! And a Mrs. MyNewLastName something or other.  Shirt, apron.  IDK.
4) My decision to hand-write our invites?  Oh my haaaaand!  Okay.  Enough wedding talk.  If there was more time, I'd start a wedding blog.  This thing is working hard to consume my life.  Raise your hand if you wouldn't mind hearing about it.  More importantly, raise your hand if you would mind.  Look at our stationery!!!
5) I love talking to people who don't like children.  I like them in small doses when they're well-behaved but I totally get people who don't like them and their conversations amuse me!
6) If I'm ever making potatoes for us, I should just make at least 8 servings because 4 is never enough.
7) Please tell me to stop using recipes that don't have amounts on them, just the ingredients!!!
8) I want some really delicious food!  That I don't have to cook.  Thank God I'm going home Thursday!  Get to work, mom!
9) I'm starting to like tomatoes.  Whaaaaa??  Like raw tomatoes w/some salt and pepper.  When I tell you I NEVER thought this would be me, I mean NEVER!  But they do remind me of these (sometimes) sweet little old ladies from my church, a now deceased mother-daughter duo, who were some of the most awesome cooks and bakers ever!!  Always served up raw tomatoes with fried chicken and homemade biscuits.  They were awesome.  Sometimes I really miss them when I go home.
10) Have you ever watched Match Game 74 on Game Show Network?  It's like the celebrities on that show are drunk!  It can be pretty funny.
11) Have I told you lately how much I love Dwight Shrute?  Watching old eps of 'The Office' from my fave season (2) is cracking me up!!!

i don't watch tv

This is one of the most annoying things you can ever say to me. No, it's not primarily because I work in tv, though I'm sure that has something to do with it. It's primarily because there is an air of assumed superiority in that statement. But you know what they say happens when you assume.

Guess what? Watching tv does not make you better than everyone else. You are missing out. How do you keep up with what's going on in the world? Yes there's the internet and newspapers, but seeing things unfold in front of your eyes. Until news outlets have consistent live, streaming video on websites, what's the point? I know I'm very tv heavy, but that's my medium. I love it. Moving pictures and sound speak infinitely. Don't get me wrong, I'm an avid reader, but when it comes to news? SHOW ME.

In the newsroom, there are about 15 elevated televisions assigned to ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, whatever feeds or live shots we're rolling on, the Pittsburgh Cable News Channel, and on and on, but those are the main ones. Then there are the tvs at each desk. I love it. If there's something on, I look at the topic bar and decide what I want to watch instantly. I also love seeing how each station is treating each story.

I wasn't always a tv person. Now I can't live without it. You HAVE to stay informed about the world around you. If not, it will pass you by. And don't think I only watch news... well I guess you already know that, huh? Well... you do now! Ha! So watch tv. Even if you can't watch my show. Thanks! *rolling eyes because this topic really annoys me*