2.24.2009

Young and Carefree

Let's go back to my college days for a moment, shall we? Young and carefree. These are things I never wanted when it came to love. Adventure? That's a completely different story. If any of my friends were going anywhere, I was down. Road trip? Club? House party? Gym jam? The library? The gym to workout? The track to run even though I've always previously hated running? Down, down, down, down, down, down, down.

Minus into a car with a strange man. That is out of the question. Let's be adventurous, not stupid. Though there was one time where one or two of my friends decided to get in a car with a man she'd only met slightly earlier in the week, perhaps in the same night, she asked me to come along and I did only because I would feel awful if something had happened to her the night I refused to come along and I could've stopped it. Safety in numbers, you know? I don't remember what happened that night, something innocuous. I'm still here and no worse for the wear. I don't even remember who the guy was... that means there was probably some sort of alcohol involved. The nights start to run together if nothing meaningful to me happened. I didn't believe in getting drunk to the point of passing out with strangers. Lol. That sounds much more terrible than it is. I didn't mind the heavy drinking, but you have to be careful who you get super drunk around and I was always mindful of that, keeping a crew of friends around who I still keep in contact with and will be at my wedding.

Random tangent over. The point it, I was down with adventure, but I never ever in my life had that desire to go wild and crazy in college. I had a friend who wanted to date more girls his senior year because he hadn't been promiscuous enough in those years where you're "supposed to be" promiscuous. This was the most baffling and idiotic thing I'd ever heard. It didn't work out for him and I was glad. Is that really something you want to be able to look back on and be proud of? Because the kind of man me and my friends want to marry doesn't sit around and reminisce on those sorts of things. Not proudly anyway and certainly not in the company of others, If you don't want to be that kind of guy, do you, but don't expect me to be waiting for you when your days of wild oat sowing are over.

I was always that girl who was ready for the relationship, though not necessarily long-term if it didn't work out that way. I take a sort of laissez-faire approach to relationships. I'm not going to pressure you to do anything. I let you know the standards I expect and if you can't meet them, kindly move along. I don't mind if you can't (or don't want to) meet the standards as long as you're honest with both of us about this and sooner, rather than later i.e. BEFORE we are both in too deep. We can be friends afterward if you adhere to these rules. That last sentence is a theory because I have not ever found anyone who did and am therefore not friends with any of my exes. I do not, however, have a problem with people who are friends with their exes. It can be healthy to have that sort of relationship as long as there are no lingering feelings of the romantic kind.

So young and carefree? Sure! Reckless with my heart, assured that I can just bounce back because I'm young and these things can't possibly impact me? Not so much. BUT all the planning in the world can never fully prepare or spare you.

4 comments:

Tanyetta said...

Very important:

**BEFORE we are both in too deep. **

Yeah!! My thoughts are ENOUGH with games. People just need to be upfront and stop playing games! :)

Sparkling Red said...

That is a very wise approach.

I never got into the casual dating game, and I don't feel that I missed out. I guess it's different for men.

Momisodes said...

You definitely have a good approach here. And you are so right that all the planning in the world can never fully prepare or spare you. So true.

jameil1922 said...

tan... right?? geez!

red... men sound just as dumb saying they need to play the field but i actually based this post on a woman who said it. yeah...

momisodes... and isn't that wrong?? shouldn't that be fixed??? lol.