I love you so much. You are one of the closest people to me. I don't know how to tell you this. I've been saying it in one way or another for months, maybe more than a year now. I'm not really sure. My time perception is a little off. But I'm reasonably sure it's been since before the bf and I made it official.
Your best friend.
I know he's white and you're black and I've been one of our most vocal friends about interracial relationships. It's kind of funny actually because growing up where I did, surrounded by white people, nearly all of my early crushes were white guys. The rest were older males. I've been boy crazy since birth (according to my mom). My time perception was so off that I was certain I could make a relationship work with my crushes at the time. When I was 5, it was a 13 year old, when I was 7, it was a 14 year old, when I was 14, it was a 17 year old. They all ignored me for obvious reasons but hey. All I knew is that they weren't adults and they were cute! Hilarious.
I think the evolution away from interracial relationships started for me when I was in 3rd grade. The white guy down the street, Matt, rebuffed my attempts. Then the white guy, Brad at school rebuffed my attempts in 4th grade. I was confused. We were cool, we were friends, what's the problem? (Neither of them are doing anything interesting with their lives at this point. I say that not to be evil, but to say you stick with me kid, and you're goin places! Hahahahaha).
My mom was not a fan of interracial relationships, but she grew up in Mississippi in the 1960s. Its kind of ironic considering her grandfather was half white. The other day I found out my dad's grandmother was also half white. But ultimately, its not up to our parents, or grandparents or anyone else.
That boy loves you. He really does. I've never met him, but I know he loves you. He will do anything for you. And I don't think you could really do anything to make him stop. Don't be afraid of what other people will or would say about your relationship. You can't stop people from talking, but you also can't ignore your heart. It will only cause you pain in the long run. It's ok to be scared. Do you think I wasn't scared when I stopped fighting how I felt about the bf? You know I was. Because I talked about it incessantly! Lololol.
Look. The point is, you love him, he loves you. A lot of times it's not that easy. But this time, I think it is. Don't be afraid. Just jump. I know he'll catch you.