jetsetting thru my mindspace *updated!*

ok first apparently i should explain the new name. stace was frightened. almost thought she was at the wrong place. so i'm at post 92. around 50 or so i realized i didn't particularly like the title of my blog anymore. don't know how long mindspace will stay either. but here it is for now. i think its accurate. blogging is a way for people to jetset thru my mindspace. if you read my blog, you have a pretty good idea of the basis of who i am. how you imagine me via regularly reading is likely accurate, right ashli and stace?

So as we speak (or as i write, http://www.wiseman7886.blogspot.com/ is in cagli, italy)! get it! and karamale, currently of bogota, colombia is always talking about jetsetting. *speaking of bogota, guess what! i wrote about bog at work the other day (i think it was flooding or something) and i thought of you! i was so excited! also when shakira was talking about shakin it like we do in barranquilla (ooh la la! you'll be proud to know i spelled it correctly w/o looking and only looked to ensure accuracy *wink*) or whatever she said i fell out thinkin about that post!! hahahahaha* so i became inspired to write about my own international travels. like to here it? here it go.

my senior year in high school, spring 2000, via the marching band, i got the opportunity to go to europe for 3 1/2 weeks on a music tour w/american music abroad playing the french horn. now, it was supposed to be for people particularly proficient in their instrument. however, i can't really say i was that anymore. at one point i was. but then junior year i became drum major. marching really makes you a better instrumentalist b/c you have to concentrate so much. anyway, becoming drum major meant i was only playing an instrument for half the year. clearly that's not enough to continue to improve.

didn't really matter to me because i knew i wasn't willing to make the time commitment for band (i been searchin, oh ohhhhhhhhhhh, for so loooooooong, nobody like the force, nowhere to be found. makes me wonder what i'd doooo, if i ever was as sorry as youuuuuuuuuuu!). ok i was originally looking for a link to the force but look what i found! the go-go band mumbosauce is featured on wikipedia! that's hot! it was est. at hampton. never a big fan of go-go until sr. year mr. sgrho was a member of mumbosauce. so i went to one of their concerts. they go-goed (new verb, use it) some dirty south songs, most notable some lil john. i was DONE. enjoyed it mucho.

i'm really sidetrack bob-in it right now (daaaaaaaang! two new verbs for you in one day). i can't focus. too much goin on. well, this was supposed to be about my trip to europe but i guess i'll have to leave you hangin a la davey wayne. i'm listening to wpgc (in dc) on aol radio and i LOVE IT!! see? this is part of the reason i want to move to "the urea" eww! if that looks nasty. not urea as in urine. the urrrrrrrea. (you gotta put some feelin behind it).

anyway. about to go to simme's, a soul food restaurant here. well, we'll see. that's what it bills itself as. as a southerner, i'll go be the judge of that. we shall see. oh yeah!! guess what guys? i didn't like my phone until i opened my latest issue of instyle magazine and saw it on pg 167!! that's the 2nd time i've seen something i already owned in that mag and was so crunk!! the first time i shared the info w/my book club. i think they were like ok... you definitely are as young as we often forget you are! lol. anyway. headed to simme's w/the head of engineering for lunch. we'll see how the grub is. i'll holla!

ok... so... went to simme's. it was alright. i had chicken and waffles w/lemonade. the lemonade was a no go. definitely from powder or something ridiculous like that. get that outta here!! i'm straaaaaaaaight. never had chicken and waffles before. it was pretty good tho the chicken was fried a little hard for my taste. my biggest beef: piss poor directions!! the kid was angry. its a maximum of 15 mins from my house right? how bout it took an HOUR to find it. no. never again. don't look for me round here. took some lil hood girls hangin out on the corner to finally get me there. even the people FROM THE RESTAURANT couldn't give me proper directions. hell. to. the. naw.

watchin real weddings from the knot, i think. chile. this need to be called bridezilla. this girl is cursing her parents out on her wedding day. she told her dad she would walk down the aisle by herself. told him to get the f*** out of the bridal suite... and he did it. and she walked down alone. then barked orders during the picture taking and they did whatever she wanted w/o question ... whoa. somebody needs a whoopin.


Bidding Adieu

I've never been good with good-byes. Actually I guess I should say I'm horrible with good-byes. That would be far more accurate. I don't mean good-byes like death. I'm actually quite good with those. I attribute that to the fact that I was exposed to death at such an early age. When I was 6, my sister's best friend Cara got hit by a car. She was supposed to wait in the car for her father. But she chased after him instead. She was four years old.

When I was 6, my uncle died. He had had a kidney transplant about 10 years earlier. In those days, that was an extraordinarily long time to live with a transplanted organ. He used to call me "James-Ellen" because he said I looked exactly like both of my parents. I hated it then, but when he died, I was sad because he wouldn't be there to call me that anymore. That was October 1988. December 24, 1989, his mother, my grandmother died. I still have the last Christmas gift she gave me. It was a yellow sweater I loved. Now one of my bears at my mom's house wears it. I actually got the gift the night she died. She'd had one of my aunts take her to pick out gifts for her 20+ grandchildren. September the next year, days after his birthday, my grandfather followed his wife of 50 years in death. August of the same year, my softball coach was driving a tractor trailer back home from a long haul. He fell asleep from the wheel five miles from his home and was killed.

After that it was a while before someone I felt a strong attachment to died. I went to a lot of funerals. I even went to funerals of a guy I didn't know to support a friend. I cherished being able to say good-bye. I had to watch the casket lowered to the ground. If they would've let me, for every funeral I would've watched them completely cover it with dirt. When my parents die, it will be my request. Wait, nevermind, both of them insist on being cremated. I talk about death a lot. It scares everyone around me. Its not like I'm suicidal. I'm controlling. So I want things to be the way I want them, even in death. I have threatened to haunt people. Hahaha. But I was serious. If it was possible and they purposely ignored my wishes, I would do it.

My organs must be donated. Obviously. Organ donation saved my uncle for 10 years. And the organ of a relative just saved my cousin's life as well. Another uncle on the other side has had his donated kidney for about 4 years. You can't take them with you. Well, you can, but they'll do you no good. You can give life to someone else. That's amazing. Part of you can live on for years. And if that person has a baby, just think, you've helped bring another life into this world. Okay this is one of my (once) private obsessions. I could go on for quite a while. But I'm probably scaring you, so I'll get to the point. I'll blog about Kenny's death another time.

I'm going to have to say good-bye to Pittsburgh at some point. As much as I hate to admit it, the city is growing on me a little. (I don't want to hear it dp or duck). But I'd actually like to visit more than I'd like to live here. Which is very strange. I actually also like showing people around the city. As much as I can with these crazy streets that end and pick up and curve and wind and go down hills and have no street signs and turn into the blue belt or yellow or purple or orange and go over a bridge or 20 into Homestead, the South Side, Wilkinsburg, the Hill, McKeesport, Mount Lebanon, Moon, Cranberry, Ross Township, and on the parkway north, east or west (no south), also known as 376, 279, 22-30, or Rt. 60. But that's how I feel about Atlanta, too. I love to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. But I'm used to my life and I really hate starting over. But alas, I must. So if you want to offer me a job in my field, in a major city with upwardly mobile Black people.... I'll take it! (Be reasonable folks).

The tangents!! I was also supposed to be adding something in here about saying good-bye at Hampton and when I graduated from high school, but this post took over itself. So alas, you will have to wait.

********LIGHTBULB. I just realized why this post came to me today. I couldn't figure it out. And it was kind of disturbing. Katherine Dunham died yesterday. If you don't know who she is, let me help you. She was the woman credited with bringing African and Carribean dances to the mainstream. She began the first black modern dance troupe. It traveled to 57 countries on 6 continents. Ms. Dunham, an American icon, was 96 years old. I love dance. This sista even had a style of dance named after her. FIERCE. I wish I'd had more formal training. But you wait. When I get a little more money, I will dance again!!!! May the spirit of Katherine Dunham forever reign in the world of modern dance.



Ok so you guys gave some excellent suggestions after my lamenting post which Miss Ashli scolded me about. She said you can't post about not wanting to post. But why not? Now that's some bullsh*t!! Don't you want to know if your beloved mellymell will not be around? i think you do. matter of fact i know you do. folks need to know!

So I decided I will write about roommates and begin a second series. This one about the life and times of the hamptonian known as jameil while matriculating at the good ole h of u.

You know how when you go to college everyone tells you not to room with your best friend b/c you'll end up hating each other? Well, coming from Charlotte, I knew no one going to Hampton. So that wasn't even an issue. My mom is a Hampton alumna, so I knew alumni in the Charlotte area. One of them had a daughter who was a senior my freshman year. Didn't really know her. Could recognize her on the street but didn't go in really knowing her.

Entered the dreaded "draft" to get a roommate. Ended up with Autumn, now known as the "O.R." (original roommate). The university sent each of us the contact info for the other. We got to know each other throughout the summer via email and prepared ourselves mentally to live in Kelsey Hall. When we got there we were directed to Stone. That's right. The building where you get mail that was for transfers and temporary housing. Except most everyone knew that but us. We completely unpacked and were told to move within the week. They wanted to split us up but we fought tooth and nail against that. She braided hair (probably for most of the freshman class). Freshman year was the year EVERYONE rocked braids, including the b.f. Soooo original.

So autumn told this dude rashad she would braid his hair for free if he got some of his friends to help us move. He brings harold, d, corey and marcus. i had already enlisted alex. i met him b/c his now sister-in-law clerked at the firm my mom used to work for. it took us an hour to move. LMAO!! everyone was like, how the hell did y'all get movin men? we got it like that. act like you know. so anyway. we moved to twitchell and there was some girl in our room. so we went to get that straightened out and ended up getting moved to virginia cleveland. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV-C! CUTIES!! (hampton thing). don't ask why we repped our dorms so hard. i think it was an effort to bond the classes and make you attach yourself to the university. that and the whole class unity thing. "Q-U-I-N-T-E-S-S-E-N-C-E, Quintessence Five. Q-T-V!" "I love I love I love my Q-T-V!" i could really go on forever so i'll just stop now.

so we stayed together. she was cool. but b/c of her hair braiding, she got a million calls a day. it was so annoying being her damn secretary. and she would get stalkers. like the dude who called himself "lil ray ray" who was subsequently kicked out of school sophomore year for allegedly raping some girl. i say allegedly only because i can't remember if he was convicted. i know he was kicked out of school. i know he creeped me out. and i wanted to shake and choke him b/c he would call 5xs a day. i would be like hey stupid she ain't here!! like i told you 20 minutes ago!!! loser.

she moved off campus sophomore year. i stayed on. lottery again. this time i got a jersey girl. she was fun but she listened to music at MACH 10!! there would be days i was studying, no music and she would walk in and start blastin her music? what the hell? i don't get it. and she smoked. cigarettes. in the room. that is not allowed in the dorms. clearly. people would walk by my room like what the hell?!! a good thing: i got her liking a UGK song by the time she moved out! and introed her to 36 mafia before the oscars! ha! :)

that was my first of 3 years in good ol dubois hall. it was also the year i was coming into myself. no longer terrified i would flunk out. met the crew who i still keep in touch with including cc, deaconness troy aka down south georgia girl (dsgg), miss ashli, stace, michelle, morgan (my bmore girl). also met my former drinking partner who i no longer keep in touch with. i used to sneak my male friends in after hours all the time. it was one of my best years at hampton hands down.

she moved off and i wouldn't have lived w/her anyway. and i don't think she would've lived w/me either. lottery AGAIN! junior year i ended up w/a smelly girl who left food containers out. people would walk in my room like wth?!! funky. for real. she would have a trail of gummy bears from the door to the bed. what?! a trail? of gummy bears?! i don't get it. were you that hungry? are you trying to give the roaches directions? whatever. that semester i had abnormal psychology with kristen and joellen (also known as classy jojo). i had heard joellen's loud mouth and was absolutely not impressed. at all. then one night happened to go out w/her and some other people (the night i lost half my big toenail) and was so in love! (no homo. i think that phrase is hilarious!) that's my dog!! i love joellen! she's freakin hilarious!

so anyway. my roommate would also sit on her bed silently with her friend. they would listen to my phone conversations then use them for the basis of their own conversations, or comment. wth?! i'm not talking to you!!!!!!!!! kristen's roommate did the same thing. so we decided to move in together. the first week she had a nasty weeklong break up screaming at the top of her lungs, crying, stomping around, all that. i was like what the hell did i get myself into?! luckily. she was a great roomie after that. we both loved cnn headline news, ghetto FABULOUS music, food, not talking in the morning until you're walking out the door. it was great. best roommate ever. i will be going to her graduation for her master's in speech pathology at loyola university in baltimore next week. go roomie!!

she became an r.a. the next year. lottery AGAIN!! oh btw. if you're wondering why i didn't live w/some of these great friends, its because i would've killed them if i had to live w/them. and murder is bad. it ruins the friendship. the next year i get this sophomore who calls herself sheezy. this stupid bitch. everytime she had an issue w/me she would call her mom and have her tell me the problem. wtfh?!! so i wanted to shake and choke that loser. her mom tried to get me kicked out the room. then miss g (the dorm director oh so cool) was like, "you can't ask her to move out when your daughter can't even talk about her problems. if she has such a problem, she needs to move out." so she did! room to myself from thanksgiving, for the rest of senior year! yessssssss!! so that's it. that's my roommate story.



I'm going thru bf withdrawal. I don't even feel like checking blogs. Now you know that's bad. And I don't feel like writing about either of my trips over the last two weeks to Charlotte and Connecticut to see the bf. So sad. I hate living 17 years away from my pookie. So give me something to write about or who knows when you'll get something worth reading again. Woe is me . :( I'm kidding guys! No woe is me. But I seriously don't know what to write about. And I really do miss the bf. So how about helpin a sista out? I'll preciate it!


Unreasonable Requests

Apparently I am the queen of these. I just got off the phone with the b.f. He said, "There are a lot of rules for when you come here." I'm baffled. I said, "What? What are the rules?" He says, "I can't wash clothes. I can't play basketball. I can't call people back." Don't forget you can't play video games. Why? Because these are all things you can do when I'm not with you that you can't do when I'm here!!! Why?? Because you don't need me around to do any of those things. I'm not going to help you wash clothes. I don't want to sit around and watch you play ball. I don't play video games. And if you're talking to other people, you're not talking to me. I am almost willing to let the calling people back thing slide. He only gets the opportunity to call people back on his days off. I will be there for both of those. As long as its not taking hours, I don't see a problem. But the rest of it.... what the hell????? Are these unreasonable requests?


Answerin the Bizness

1) D.L. Sands said...
I tend to read your blog posts as I imagine you'd read them aloud: extremely fast, and without breathing.

Ha! That's funny. I do actually talk like that when i'm excited. Its quite amusing.

2) Miss A. said...
what kind of car do you drive? who would you tongue kiss for $100,000 tax free dollars out of randy jackson from American Idol or kevin federline? (6) you don't look like you can :-P, but can you cook? and what's your specialty?

Ok I did see ashli and stace tried to get smart and answer those questions. ashli is right about the 100k. tho i'd rather go broke than do either. first of all i don't do old dudes and randy is definitely in that category. and there is nothing sexy about him. he looks like he wheezes. do you see how he has his mouth open all the time? uh uh. and i hate american idol. wack. but then, i definitely can't do the greasy white trash. so i'll just have to pay my taxes. and i'm gonna fight you hater!! yes i can cook. i like cooking. 365 no repeats!! go rachael ray!! i should get paid as much as i promo her book. but brekky is my specialty and my fave. and i make a mean peach cobbler from scratch. but i also do great burgers. and i love chicken dishes. i'm strangely good at following recipes. the first time i make just about anything, it ordinarily comes out the way i wanted it to.

3/4/5) Miss Ashli said...
Miss A, in Jameil's absence I'll answer your questions for you, lets see how good i am at this: drives a lancer, and for 100,000 tax free dollars she would kiss randy because i can't see her kissing a dirty lookin wannabe rappin white boy, and she can only cook breakfast since thats all she eats, specialty = western omelet and a side of homefries. And when's she's real saddity with it she'll make a frittata instead with a side scallopped potato casserole and for lunch a steak burger with chunks of gorganzola cheese, a pesto mayo all on a garlic & onion focaccia round. Holla!

Stacie von Kutieboots said...
Get it Ashli! Her specialty is a damn italian cheeseburger with gorgonzola, baby spinach leaves on a whole wheat kaiser rollDon't forget some other foreign terms like "Now and Afters" (now and laters) or "they are going like bagels!" (going like hotcakes)What I want to know is what did you wear everyday you were gone!

see what i mean? hoochies think they're funny. but to answer stace's question here we go. but first more of the stacey and ashli show.
Miss Ashli said...
stace: i know what she didn't wear; she didn't wear that yellow dress i fed-exed her ass

bitches. that question is too long to answer. i don't feel like it right now. so i'll have to get back to you. and no i didn't wear that yellow dress. sorry!

6) Epsilonicus said...
Have fun!!Did u get the myspace messge I sent you???

i'm sure i did. i didn't respond? let me go do that.

7) Karamale said...
thanks for showing me some love, jameil. next time, fuck me harder. meanwhile, question:goobers or raisinettes?

such language!! neither. both of them are nasty.

8) Stacie von Kutieboots said...
Nor did she mention the yellow crushed silk tank from express I sent her...can't be nice to some people!


9) 4EverJennayNay said...
Ummm...I've been wondering this for sometime now.Who was Sweet Pea's daddy?You know, Olive Oil's son? She was always going back and for between Popeye and Bluto. Popeye would always have to save her from Bluto after he beat her ass or did something crazy. So who was Sweet Pea's daddy?
omg crazy! i haven't a clue!

10) Christopher aka CNEL said...
I want to know how come you're so confident? What's ya secret?
The proof is in the pudding. J/k. hahahaha. That was hilarious. You were sittin here like wtf?? Yeah, I've always been like this for the most part. There were times when I wasn't as confident in all areas. But I've been told I was intelligent and special my whole life. So you start to believe it.

11) Ladynay said...
What made you want to go into journalism? Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?How many kids you want (can have grandbabies unless you make or adopt a kid)?How long you and you bf been together?Did you get your liver pudding?What side of the bed do you sleep on?

It was either journalism, music, english, veterinary medicine, or genetics. music was out b/c i HATE theory. english was out b/c i don't like subjective opinions for a grade. veterinary medicine out b/c i don't like animals enough and i certainly don't want to see sick ones. i was only considering that b/c my cousin is a vet and i thought that was so cool. genetics b/c i think dna and all that is soooo cool. but i have always had awful evil math teachers so that was out, too.

10 years, I see myself doing something huge, making a significant amount of money, married with 2 or 3 kids. Leaning toward 3. I wouldn't mind adoption if my husband and I couldn't have kids and am seriously considering adoption anyway. I've wanted to adopt since I was like 13. i don't know why.

The bf. We went to Hampton together. Met freshman year and became friends thru several mutual friends. Got closer soph. yr. b/c we were in the same major, had a lot of classes together, and would give each other love/relationship advice. It was really great. Over the course of soph, jr and senior years, he became one of my closest friends and confidantes. He tried to convince me to kiss him (he claims once a semester, but i know it was more than that) but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. He was one of my few male friends to keep in touch with me throughout the summer. We went to Sr. Ball together. The night of graduation we stayed up all night talking and listening to music in his car. (Hmmm.... That's strange. He had an apt. I have no idea why we stayed in his car).

The year following graduation, we stayed close and in touch. Continuing to talk to each other at least twice a week for at least an hour and a half, and up to four or five hours. What the hell do we talk about? We try to figure this out everytime we have a marathon session (including yesterday's 3 hour convo). We talk about music a LOT, sports, work (those two go hand in hand for him), rachael ray (LMAO!!), tv. I think that's about it. But probably not. Oh yeah, and sex! So about a year ago, maybe even a year and a half, I started thinking about him in "that way." As more than a friend that is. And it took me about a year, from about October 2004 to August 2005 to convince myself it was ok to love him beyond our friendship love; and that it wouldn't ruin our friendship. So I sent him a letter. It was only one page but it said everything I needed it to. He didn't know how to take it. So we just kind of ignored it.

He sent me a package for my bday in August and it was just what I wanted. I was home alone w/no friends as I had just moved to Pittsburgh. So he talked to me from 1130 pm on August 22nd until about 3 hours into my birthday. In October, we made plans to meet in the middle for the first time. It was our first time seeing each other in a year and a month and a half. I knew then and he says he did too but we weren't honest with each other. We both acted like it was nice but not really a big deal. Then he called me in November to ask me if I wanted to fly in to see The Color Purple on Broadway w/him. Of course I said yes. We saw the play on December 5th. I went home on the 6th. The 10th he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend. So it has been nearly 5 months.

Didn't get my liver pudding!!! totally forgot until you said that!! i'm going to push myself off of something!!! ahhhhhhh!! lololol. i usually sleep on whatever side of the bed the window isn't on. i hate sleeping next to the window.

12) 4EverJennayNay said...
ever regret anything?

nope. for what? learn from it and move on.

13) Chris said...
what is your ultimate life goal?
happiness. i want to be financially secure and love my job. but most of all i want to be in love with life and my kids.